Blogging · Humour · Poem · Rhyme

Blogging from my cave – and I like it!

I hope that you fab fellow bloggers,
Will excuse this attempt at a rant,
It’s just that I’m getting frustrated.
As I have the tech skills of a plant.

I started by clicking on WordPress,
And rattled out “Rhyming with Wine”.
Commenced on my blog expedition,
And I’m having a fabulous time!

The people I type to are awesome,
Just so many parents like me!
All sharing our Mum/Dad (mis)adventures,
With virtual cake, wine and tea.

But sometimes when doing my reading,
I find that I’m dealt a sharp blow,
As I find out another requirement,
That I just didn’t know I don’t know.

Example: I’m hosting a series
of fabulous rhyming guest posts,
There’s even a badge – which I’m proud of!
As I’m hardly the most skilled of hosts!?

So, Prabs of Ab.Prabulous nudged me,
And asked if I’d quite like to share,
A beautiful rhyme she had published,
“Of course!” I responded “Hell yeah!”

But then it got slightly alarming…
As we’d each have a post quite the same!?
The Google police might be summoned!!
To shut us both down??
Oh the shame!!!

I pondered this quandary for hours,
And sought out some answers on line,
I found scary words like “encryption”
And fought not to reach for the wine.

And slowly I reached my conclusion,
Frustrated and feeling quite tense,
That Google does not hold the answer,
As none of it makes any sense!

I figured the answer’s within me,
And I shall decide what is right.
It’s my fecking blog and my hobby!
I just don’t have time for this sh*te!

Prabs is a wonderful blogger,
I read all her stuff all the time,
She’s written a post as a mother,
And made it quite perfectly rhyme.

So why should I not bloody host it?
To placate some weird Googlebot?
“Ah fudge it!” We reasoned together,
“Let’s share it and give it a shot!”

But all of this raises the questions,
Why do I bother to care?
When did I get so obsessive?
And how did I get so aware?

Why am I fussed about rankings?
It’s no longer just what I write,
It’s all SEO now and MOZ scores,
I’m drowning in technical sh!te.

I’ve managed to move to self hosted,
I use the term losely it’s true,
I mostly just passed it to hubby,
And mimed what I’d like it to do.

I’ve faffed about installing plug ins,
We even tried Google Adsense!
Which made my site look like a boot sale,
And banked me a whole 19 pence.

I get that for some of you blogging,
Is not just a hobby, it pays,
And I take off my hat to you lovelies!
And your awesome professional ways.

But blogging for me is a pass time,
A passion to read, write and share.
So what then if Google gets arsey?
Why in the fudge do I care?

I’ll never be Number 1 Blogger,
Or hold a repectable score,
As all this I.T stuff eludes me,
I’m simply a tech dinosaur.

And so I shall try to step back now,
To pick up my pen and exhale,
To quit with this high level nonsense,
And accept the odd technical fail.

I think I’ll just stick to the writing,
And getting a few blog posts planned,
I’ll stop getting swept up in piffle,
And jargon I don’t understand.

This PA and DA malarkey,
Does nothing but mess with my head,
I’d rather just sit with a biro,
And make up more poems instead!

I love that I co-host a linky,
Please keep the posts coming our way,
Sharing the brilliant #bloglove
Is what makes me b’log on each day!

I’ve tried my best not to break twitter,
And so far I’ve managed just fine, ThereforeΒ I shall plod on regardless,
Until I break Rhyming with Wine.

So much as I truly love blogging,
The tech stuff sounds nice – but I’ll pass.
The #bloglove is all that’s important,
And Google can go kiss my ass!

Much #bloglove to the lovely Prabs of Absolutely Prabulous for inspiring this rhyme.Β  I’m very excited to say that I’ll be sharing her amazing rhyme as a guest post very soon!

*Blows a raspberry at the Googlebots*

I’d also like to send virtual cake to the fabulous Mama of My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows for inviting me to co-host her #fartglitter linky with her.Β  Not only does she do ALL the technical bits for me *more cake* but she also replied to my latest message about DA and PA with the words “What are they?” See now this is why we are friends!

Linking up with…

Rhyming with Wine
Run Jump Scrap!3 Little ButtonsDiary of an imperfect mum
My Petit Canard

106 thoughts on “Blogging from my cave – and I like it!

  1. I just don’t know HOW you do it. (I think I say it each time I read you.) I’m fairly competent with the rhyming thing but honestly your ability to literally tell a story that flows like a story with all the right structure and ‘order’…and make it rhyme…GENIUS!! At this rate my #BlogStars round up is just going to become one bit hommage to your blog!
    absolutely prabulous recently posted…Confessions of a Guilty BloggerMy Profile

  2. Oh my goodness, I think we’re leading parallel lives! I posted this on Sunday after weeks of doubting and questioning what the hell I’m doing: http://therewegoblog.com/why-never-be-proper-blogger-ballad/ – and I’ve just read this and about five bits made me snort out loud! (Mainly the use of the word shite, I won’t lie). I love this so much, and I’m right there with you – rhyming and all. I raise my biro to you πŸ˜‰ x

    1. Raising my biro and not only cheersing you but also possibly doing a little virtual chest bump! Love your post and couldn’t agree with you more. Well done for not being so sweary though. Think I was suffering from blog rage when I wrote mine haha. Thank you! I’m clearly in great company πŸ™‚ x

    1. I’m so dependent on my hubby for the tech stuff it’s ridiculous! I very nearly destroyed me whole site (with no back ups) a few weeks ago. He just pressed some buttons and voila…. mended!? I have no clue! Thank you lovely x

    1. It’s just so easy to get swept up in it isn’t it? I read a new post about some fandangled plug in and think “I must do this! IMMEDIATELY!” But then just stress myself out trying to work out how. Pleased I’m in good company! Thank you x

  3. Absolutely love this, and you area genius getting it all to rhyme, I wouldn’t even know where to start! and you are so right, it is really easy to get caught up with numbers, stats and scores and forget about why you started to blog. I certainly give myself a right Royal kick up the arse when I start finding myself obsessing. X #MarvMonday

  4. Oh I bloody love you!!!!!!!! I am SO with you on this one. I don’t pay attention to stats etc as it just stresses me out . Like you, blogging is my passion and this just reminds me why I do it! You are FABULOUS xx #fartglitter

  5. I often blog posts on how to further your blog but it is soooo tech heavy, I literally have no idea (and I’ve always thought I was a bit of tech wizard!) So like you, I focus on the fact that I blog as a hobby and don’t put too much pressure on myself. I can’t say I’ve ever noticed any tech fails on your blog, I’m too enthralled in your fabulous rhymes! #fartglitter

    1. Thanks Abi – that’s a relief to know. Ironically when I posted this to Facebook it posted as “page not found”? The link still worked and it still had my logo so I left it like that. Summed it up perfectly haha x

  6. I’m glad you don’t get it either, thought I was the only one! Being a newbie and with little time to spend, these things continue to elude me!! My hubby is also my tech wizard and I literally wave at the PC with a look of ‘I don’t understand’, he clicks a few buttons and it’s done!! xx #FartGlitter
    Sonia recently posted…A Guide to Happy Homework With 3!My Profile

    1. It’s frustrating isn’t it? How do they do it? I just don’t have the patience and often can’t wait for him to get home from work so that I can thrust the laptop at him whining “it just won’t dooo it!” Thanks Sonia x

    1. It drives me insane! I know what I want it to do but can I make it? Can I heck! As for similar posts – I know exactly what you mean. I’m lucky in that my rhyming obsession tends to make it a bit different in most cases – in fact that’s why I started rhyming in the first place, just to be different! I think now that I’m into it I can see now that we could each write a blog on exactly the same topic and they’d all be totally unique as we all have out own style and personality. Thanks for your fab comment. Thrilled to be a cracker haha x

  7. Well this may as well have been written in Dutch Dawn for all I understood of it!! πŸ˜† What exactly is the deal with duplicate content? I was wondering this the other day, as once you have blogs published by third parties there’s often some double up?? Thanks for hosting #fartglitter, that’s a lot more technical than I’ll ever be!! Xxx
    Mrs Lighty recently posted…Daddy DaycareMy Profile

    1. I wish I knew hun! I had it mentioned to me that it can cause Google to drop your rankings (or something sounding equally as heinous?) The more I looked into it the more confused I got but in the end I’ve reached the conclusion that a) I’m not big enough for Google to really give a toot and b) I don’t care haha! Thank you for your comment πŸ™‚ xx

  8. Hi Dawn, Oh I hear you! I’ve recently wasted far to much time trying to get my head round PA and DA rankings. I discovered MOZ and tapped in my url, only to have my mind filled with another distraction of a spam score! Who knew? Apparently my blog has a spam score of 4, which may not sound too bad, although I have no idea how it works! So if I don’t understand the jargon, how the Dickens can I stop my blogs spam score increasing?… I wish I’d never looked!

    I look forward to reading Prabs rhyme. Bu***r those bots!

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…It’s A Cat’s LifeMy Profile

    1. Spam score!? What is spam score? I thought spam was bad? Why would I want it to be scored? Aaaggh? *slams face onto keyboard* *reaches for cake* *Tries to post cake into keyboard for you too* 😘 Thanks for your comment Debbie xx

  9. I so don’t get all the technical shiz. I’ve got as far as buying a domain but still got to look into going self hosted and if I can do it without having a nervous breakdown! #fartglitter
    Fran Back With A Bump recently posted…A-Z of Fitness Part 1My Profile

  10. haha! I have no idea what any of that stuff means either.. I’m winging it, and thats just fine lol

    another fabulous rhyme, that I understand oh so well πŸ™‚ #fartglitter
    Laughing Mum recently posted…Daddy to Girls…My Profile

  11. This is just brilliant and so true. Its nice to remember why we blog, rather than worrying about rank. Your a rhyming genius!

    #MarvMondays

  12. AHHHHH….This is so me, written in rhyme. So many times have I cried and tried to bang my head against my monitor but I stop myself because then I’ll have to PAY to replace it. And you are absolutely right, we’re here to enjoy ourselves and not sweat about the small bits. Love your blog and you are top blog in my books. #fartglitter

    1. It really was wasn’t it? I don’t really know how much of an issue it is but the more I looked into it the more confused I got to the point that I lost the will to care. I think it’s fine on a small scale to be honest – but what do I know haha. Thank you x

    1. Thanks Becky. You are one of the bloggers that I take off my hat to. I’m always so impressed by your blog related posts and what little bit of skill I do possess has mostly come from your posts and those of a few other fabulous bloggers. I just wish I could make my head process it all. It refuses. It just wants cake! πŸ™‚ Prabs is amazing isn’t she? Definitely worth taking on the Googlebots for! πŸ˜‰

  13. I am the same lovely. I just can’t be ARSED! I write my posts and yes I have had a few sponsored posts and reviews. But google? SEO? When the new DA updates come out and people are sooo stressed I’m like what?? loved this rhyme. Really true and thanks for hosting x
    Sarah Howe recently posted…The GENDER REVEAL!!!My Profile

  14. Fabulous post the tech stuff goes over my head thankfully Emily my wife is pretty good so helps me lot blogging at the end of the day should be fun thanks for hosting #fartglitter

  15. I LOVE this! I have read some of your other blogs and think that you are a talented lady. This resonated so much with me, because I don’t have a fecking clue about twitter, let alone all the shit you were talking about: SEO’s, MOZ, PA and DA…sounds like code names to me for: I’m too old for this shit (speaking personally), or life’s too short. However, I completely appreciate, like you, that this has to be important to people who need it, so I really respect those guys. A great blog. Alison (Madhousemum) #Fartglitter x

    1. Yey! Can we please be BFFs (or whatever the kids are saying nowadays!) Life is just too short to be stressing about things that make my brain ache when I don’t need to. I’m with you – huge respect for the awesome techie bloggers out there. They’ve managed to teach me what little bits I know and for me that’s enough. Thanks for your comment and for linking up with us! πŸ™‚ x

  16. I love writing poetry – I wrote a post a few months back (not sure if you read it) here is the link: http://www.arthurwears.com/2015/10/for-all-mummies-going-back-to-work-this.html?m=1

    I don’t know if I’m up to your amazing standard, but I’d love to do a guest post for you at some point? On a subject of your choosing too – happy to fit in!

    You’ve also got me worried, as one of my past posts on colic and reflux was basically copied and pasted onto another blog as a guest post for a series on difficulties parents have overcome…id never even considered getting into trouble for it!?! #Fartglitter
    Sarah – Arthurwears recently posted…Children Changing Careers p4: Bonnie Doman from BON LDNMy Profile

    1. Hi Sarah! Ah thanks lovely! I would love to feature you! I’ll pop over in a bit to have a good read but I already suspect I’ll love it! I’ll DM you on twitter. I don’t think we literally get into any issues for having duplicate material but as far as I’m aware Google can apparently mark you down for it somehow? (It’s beyond me!) I think you’re ok if it’s only occasional posts – but don’t quote me. As per above post – I’m useless! πŸ™‚ Thanks again hun. I’ll be thrilled to feature you and I’ll be in touch xx

  17. I’m not sure google would actually ding you for having the same post republished someplace else. I’ve had some stuff reprinted on The Good Men Project, and isn’t this pretty much all Scary Mommy and Huff Po do? I’m certainly not one that anybody should listen to. I’d be curious to know what made you think this was bad?
    jeremy@thirstydaddy recently posted…A New Fear of FailureMy Profile

    1. I think you’re probably right and the same thought crossed my mind. It had been mentioned to me that I might need to look at some sort of encryption if I wanted to share something that had already been published on another site? The more I Googled it the more confused I got. There were a few mentions along that line but from what I can understand I think it’s unlikely to cause too much of a problem to a tiny site like mine. At the end of the day it’s a hobby to me so I’m trying to stop myself getting too wound up about these things. Thanks for your thoughts on it though. It’s good to know that I might not be destroying my site too much. πŸ™‚

  18. oh i feel the very same dawn. I think i am doing well and then read a blog about must knows and must haves and i realise i have so much o learn so much to do if I want to make it in the blogging world. but what does that even mean. make it? make money? i don’t know. For now I enjoy this one day at a time and will give myself time to learn. I mean this isn’t a full-time gig…..ive 4 kids to throw en eye on every so often as well…..You are doing great and what will be will be i guess.

    1. Thanks for such a great comment Fran. I am nodding frantically. Realistically there are only so many hours in a day. You’re right. How do we define “making it”? What are we actually striving to achieve? I’m trying to hold onto the enjoyment factor and not get to swept up in it all. Easier said than done though isn’t it? Dawn x

  19. Dawn I can’t say how happy this has made me – you know how much I love your blog and recently I’ve been getting a bit concerned that maybe I need to start looking at stats, go self hosted and sort out the techy stuff blah blah – but I REALLY don’t want to! I want blogging to be about my love of it – not trying to improve my score or stats, because I know I’d get obsessive. SO thank you for reminding me not to start being an idiot and just stick to what I enjoy – writing. Sorry for missing #fartglitter this week, bank holiday had me all out of whack – will be back next week I hope!!
    Ellen recently posted…6 months as your motherMy Profile

    1. I totally agree with you lovely! I’m not entirely sure why I went self hosted and while I’m kind of glad I did, it does seem to get a whole lot more techie!? You’re so right. You’ve got to do what makes you happy. Why stress about the other stuff if we don’t need to? Thanks for such a lovely comment and no probs at all about #fartglitter. Will look forward to seeing you next week all being well xx

  20. I think it would take more than one similar post to offend the Google bots! Love your attitude though – if you get too bogged down with the techy stuff, rankings etc it can really start to take the fun out of it. A lot of it seems to be trial and error anyway.
    At the end of the day it’s all about producing great content and enjoying what you do. #FartGlitter

    1. I think you’re right, it’s just so easy to panic and get fixated on the tech rather than just the writing which is why we all started in the first place isn’t it? I’m definitely all about trial and error. (Mostly error). πŸ˜‰ Thanks for commenting x

  21. Great point very well made! I spent two hours at the weekend trying to work out how to post comments from the correct blog name… it shouldn’t be so hard surely! I have no idea what DA and PA are and have never heard of them (assume PA isn’t a Personal Assistant to do all this tech stuff for us?!) and I’d like to go self hosted but get palpitations at the thought of attempting it. Stick to your guns and keep up with the amazing rhymes and followers will come without you even having to try! #FartGlitter

    1. Ah thank you – that’s such lovely advice. I absolutely think that PA should be exactly what you’ve described here. Otherwise I want nothing to do with it ha! Thanks for commenting and sending cake to help with the techie stuff πŸ˜‰ x

  22. Oh I LOVE LOVE LOVE this – I’ve really been feeling this lately and had to remind myself of why I started blogging – it’s for the love of writing not for stats and charts and all that jargon that still makes zero sense to me – I can’t believe that you got a rant over so eloquently in a rhyme – you are fab! #MarvMondays

  23. Ha, ha! Its definitely worth taking a time out when you realise you care too much about all the technical stuff. Definitely the right choice made, stay true to your blogging and collabs, its great! Emily #bestandworst

  24. With talent like that lady you don’t need to be tech savvy!! What a great poem. This is my first link up to #fartglitter – I’m so pleased I stopped by! πŸ™‚
    Jaki recently posted…Our May…My Profile

  25. Great blog! Amazing rhymes!! I have no clue about all the tech shite…I just write!! It makes me so confused with all the other stuff! Enjoy and write xxx

    1. Ah if only it were just the little things that I found puzzling…. sometimes just logging on is enough to make my nose bleed! It’s like when WordPress shakes itself at me when I have apparently put the wrong password in. It has a small hissy fit and tells me I only have 3 attempts left? I mean it’s just too much pressure! πŸ˜€ I know who to come to know when I’m stuck… Thank you for commenting xx

  26. Ha ha its a minefield of techy jargon isn’t it? Somedays I wonder how I ended up falling down this crazy rabbit hole! Love the rhyme as always, such a fantastic post. I had to giggle a few times (my son told me off, he was watching Harry Potter) Thanks for being a lovely linky-host #Fartglitter
    Petite Pudding recently posted…Party PuddingMy Profile

  27. Love it! I’m clueless on the tech stuff too! But I do somewhat cheat as my other half is a web developer! &, while I try not to make him spend too much of his time messing with my stuff as well as his own, & mostly do stuff myself, when I have no clue about something, I do of course ask him!

    If you’re interested, I DO know the answer about the duplication thing & I have noticed you see a lot of panic about it in the blogging community, but it is mostly based on a misunderstanding about what google are bothered about. Google dislike duplicate content, that is true. But that means on the same site. So if you put the same content onto multiple pages/areas of your site, google would be displeased. The reason being that people only do that in order to SEO/keyword stuff, and google does not like stuffing. Google doesn’t care about content that is duplicated on a different site. Of course people post things all the time that have appeared elsewhere. It is true that the stronger ranking/traffic will only go to one site. Usually the one that publishes first, I think. Google won’t give you both equal priority for the same content, essentially. But you won’t be penalised, blackmarked or anything else – google doesn’t mind about the content being elsewhere.

    A lot of the things you hear about google and what you can get into trouble for can be taken with a pinch of salt, I find. The nofollow rules are true & should be obeyed. A lot of the rest is less true. (Particularly the numerous rumours about comments!) #fartglitter
    Silly Mummy recently posted…Random Things I’ve Seen: The Elizabeth I DressMy Profile

    1. Thank you so much! I finally have an answer that I can understand πŸ˜‰ That makes total sense too. Thanks for taking the time to explain it for me. It must be amazing to have a Web developer on hand. My hubby is very techie but even he isn’t sure about some of this stuff. Thank you for setting this straight for me. One less blogging conundrum to get my little head around. Sending cake xx

  28. Loved your line about the boot sale. No site should look like a bootsale not even a bootsales’! Unless of course you want endless copies of 50 Shades of Grey and broken footspas.

    #dreamteam

  29. That last sentence, was possibly the best ending to a blog post I have ever read! Ha ha. I am a tech dinosaur too! Cant get my head around it all and when I try to read up on it, it makes my head hurt. This is a good reminder to just do what I like, writing, and try not to worry about the other stuff xxx #fartglitter
    yvonne recently posted…Babi a Fi #parentingscoopMy Profile

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