family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

A Llamastrophy!

For Easter this year, as a fabulous treat!

The hubby had booked us a cottage – how sweet?

The bunny had been, so we left for a night,

At The Llamas Pyjamas – a Lakeland delight!

We knew of the cafe, and loved the place lots!

So into the car went the cases and tots.

llama with critters

Now the boy had been poorly the day just before,

(a fever, a nosebleed, eye gunk and much more).

But it seemed he’d improved so “Let’s do it!” We said.

*Looks back in hindsight and slaps self in head*

The weather looked grim from our view in the car,

Storm Katie was forecast. Terrific. Huzzah!

We parked at the cafe, dashed in through the rain,

As visions of stone skimming swirled down the drain.

But still we’d arrived, so we ordered some lunch,

We still were on hols when it came to the crunch?

But I looked at The Boy as his rosy cheeks beamed.

He frowned at his dinner, and instantly screamed!

The llamas outside appeared mildly amused,

While my tot thrashed about and his lunch was refused.

We gulped down our food and the staff checked us in,

Trying to welcome us over the din.

The cottage was cosy, but after the meal,

It took us a while to shrug off the ordeal.

The setting was peaceful and so picturesque,

But my screeching boy’s mood was quite simply grotesque!

The afternoon passed, he continued to bawl,

But hey? Suck it up! It’s a break after all?

So we ventured back out to find something to eat,

And hedging our bets chose a cheeky McTreat,

But just as expected each nourishing course,

Consisted of no more than “hand in red sauce”

The evening approached and the kids were both wired,

Vibrating on ketchup and manically tired.

They both had a bath (though the water was cold).

Surprisingly accepted bedtime when told.

We climbed into bed, snuggled down to nod off.

When out of the darkness, we heard it….

“The Cough!”

The Cough – that says go find a bucket and quick,

The cough that says no, too late Mummy, “I sick!”

Our Little Miss Tot had her head down the loo,

The horrible lurgy had got to her too!

“Somebody somewhere is having a laugh!”

I growled as I threw sicky sheets in the bath.

The trauma continued all throughout the night.

“My throat hurts!” “I’m poorly!” right through to daylight.

With shot bleary eyes we accepted defeat.

And packed up the car in a hasty retreat.

To crawl our way home through the holiday queues.

While both of the tots had a three hour snooze.

This wonderful break was supposed to be bliss?

That somebody somewhere WAS taking the p!ss!

The brochure was clearly to blame all along.

It’s somewhat misleading, the adverts were wrong!

The kids in the pictures were calm and serene?

They seemed to be smiling? Their faces were clean?

Our offspring are faulty – I wish to complain!

They’re both on a mission to drive us insane!

In all future brochures, quite clearly in view,

There should be a note that says:

“This won’t be you!”

There should be the option that makes it quite clear.

To: “Insert your own stroppy tot pictures here!”

So next time the hubby says let’s go away!?

My polite response will be “Fudge that! No way!”

I’d rather stay home and just sit on my bed,

And have a nice time burning bank notes instead.

So next time the hubby says let’s go away!?

“The Tots seem too poorly.” I’ll lovingly say.

Let’s let them stay cosy, and wrapped up in bed.

Let’s just give them Calpol and cuddles instead.

Spit Happens Llama

*As quoted by the fantastic Llama Karma Cafe and Llama’s Pyjamas B&B (Penrith).

Thank you for what could have been a wonderful mini – break. We’ll be back. One day. When the kids are about 18 😉

ps: Sorry about the sheets!

Very proud to have had this post featured by the #BigPinkLink linky!

Pink Pear Bear

Also proudly linking up with…

MummuddlingthroughDomesticated MomsterRun Jump Scrap!Pink Pear Bear

thumbnailsize

53 thoughts on “A Llamastrophy!

  1. Oh no, sorry your weekend was a washout with poorly kiddies! We’ve had a similar bank holiday weekend washout which resulted in me scrubbing sick off my carpet – and it wasn’t even my child that was sick, it was my niece! Hope the kids get better soon and you get your weekend away soon!

    1. I think kids just seem to sense when to be sick don’t they? Hats off to you though lovely, at least it was my kid’s sick and someone else’s carpet!? Sending wine and cake and hope your niece is better soon too. Thank you x

  2. Is it really bad that I laughed all the way through your rhyme? Not for your poor family throwing their guts up, but because its great to know that its normal for families to have crap holidays.

    We went away twice last year and both times I couldn’t wait to come home to relax. Save the holiday money for wine x

    1. That sounds like a far more effective plan! I’m sorry that you had rubbish hols too – but secretly also chuffed that I’m in good company. Virtual high five to not going on holiday again until they’ve grown up! 😉 Thanks for your comment xx

  3. Oh dear…! Sorry it didn’t turn out so great. Brilliantly funny rhyme though!

    I’m on holiday at the moment (Devon) and whilst it’s lovely to have a change of scenery, I’m kinda looking forward to going home to normality and routine…!

    1. Aw hope you’re having a fab time. Devon is lovely isn’t it? Holidays are just not quite as relaxing as they used to be any more are they?? I’m sure it’s just a phase though… *crosses fingers*

      Thanks for commenting x

    1. Crossed out ending? You mean I didn’t delete it?? Oops 😉 I think it has put us off for the moment but I’m sure we’ll be over it by our next little break. Thanks for reading and for your lovely comment as always xx

  4. Oh chick what a fudging nightmare! I think sometimes you think all will be ok when they ill but your original gut feeling is right! Hope everyone is on the mend and you have caught up on your sleep!! Bless. Fab rhyme as always xx #twinklytuesday

    1. It was a fudging nightmare hun! 😉 Luckily the tots are fine now thank you, although they’ve very kindly shared it with mummy, who now feels a bit like road kill! Bleughh. To be fair if someone dragged me to a llama themed cafe right now I’d probably scream too! Thanks so much for commenting 🙂 xx

  5. Ah no! What a shame – home is just the best place to be when one/some/all of you are sick! isn’t it?! On a side note, I am genuinely amazed at how you manage to make a post THAT long rhyme and have an equal number of syllables on each line! #rhymeenvy 🙂 #justanotherlinky
    Becky (And Then There Were Two) recently posted…Before We Met…My Profile

    1. Yey! It’s an awesome cafe isn’t it? We got married in the Lakes a few years ago and it’s kind of become a ritual to visit as often as we can, (their paradise slice is to die for!) This was our first stay, and had the kids been ok it would have been amazing! Lovely to meet a fellow Llama Karma enthusiast 😉 Thanks for commenting x

    1. Yes that was definitely one plus point for the weekend, the llamas at least were thoroughly entertained haha. Both kids are fighting fit again now thank you. I think they’ve very kindly shared it with me, but sharing’s caring so that’s lovely! 🙂 Hope you’re all recovered too. Thanks for reading x

    1. Thanks Emma. The kids are great now thanks. Me – not so much, but I think that’s just life with kids isn’t it? At least one of you shall be ill at all times! (And at least I don’t tend to throw up in bed!) #bonus 😉 Thank you for reading and commenting lovely x

    1. I think brave is one word for it… foolish would probably be more accurate haha. We’re definitely tryers! Hope you get to brave a weekend one day soon, and may your bedding remain free of lumps! 🙂 Thank you for reading xx

  6. What a palava! Exactly what I dread happening on a nice getaway (though Archie’s managed to be ill on every holiday so far, I think). Amazing poem again though, you are so so talented (and hilarious). Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  7. Hi Dawn, another excellent rhyme! I’m guessing your mini break was a bit of a disaster? I think our worst sickness disaster was when we took the children to see the carnival and our daughter was ‘off colour’, only to have her start throwing up as I held her in my arms whilst watching the carnival. Luckily the people in front were pretty nifty on their feet, and having got to the front of the crowd (due to projectile vomiting), we had to make a hasty retreat home. It turned out to be the start of the chicken pox.

    Parents really shouldn’t go anywhere too far whilst the children are under eighteen, it never works out!

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Practicing PhotographyMy Profile

  8. Oh sorry that you’ve had such a bad time and your break fell flat. What a disappointment! As usual, you’ve managed to put such a funny and positive spin on it with your rhymes that I couldn’t help but laugh! Hope you manage to get away again before your kids are 18. #BigPinkLink xx
    Cheryl recently posted…Norfolk Family Holiday for 10My Profile

  9. This is BRILLIANT!!! I’m in the van with my hubs & read it to him, (I don’t usually do that!!), & he said it was very very good. I’m so sorry you had such a rubbish break, I’ve had a few very similar experiences trust me! Thanks for linking up again! #bigpinklink

  10. Oh you do make me chuckle! I’m sorry your trip away didn’t quite go to plan though. We have just planned a few days away and I am wondering what calamity will befall us! #coolmumclub

  11. I’m in awe of your sick rhyming skills Dawn…see what I did there? In seriousness though you made this unfortunate episode not only funny and engaging, but in rhyme? You are one clever lady.
    Hope the little ones are better! There is always next time!
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
    MMT recently posted…#coolmumclub Linky week 21My Profile

    1. Thank you hun! 😍 All that kept me going was the fact that sick is quite an easy word to rhyme with! I kept chanting “blog fodder” whilst scrubbing vomit out of sheets 😉 They’re all much better now thank you. At home. Being bored… bless em! Thanks for the lovely comment xx

  12. Oh no our little man had a similar bug – they pick their moments right? Hilarious writing though, really enjoyed it, hopefully your next break will be more successful #coolmumclub

    1. Thanks lovely! Yeah it was definitely not one of our greatest holidays to date. I’m sure it won’t be the last that’s plagued with tantrums and vomit, such is the life of a parent eh? They’re both much better now though. Thanks so much for reading xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge