For Easter this year, as a fabulous treat!
The hubby had booked us a cottage – how sweet?
The bunny had been, so we left for a night,
At The Llamas Pyjamas – a Lakeland delight!
We knew of the cafe, and loved the place lots!
So into the car went the cases and tots.
Now the boy had been poorly the day just before,
(a fever, a nosebleed, eye gunk and much more).
But it seemed he’d improved so “Let’s do it!” We said.
*Looks back in hindsight and slaps self in head*
The weather looked grim from our view in the car,
Storm Katie was forecast. Terrific. Huzzah!
We parked at the cafe, dashed in through the rain,
As visions of stone skimming swirled down the drain.
But still we’d arrived, so we ordered some lunch,
We still were on hols when it came to the crunch?
But I looked at The Boy as his rosy cheeks beamed.
He frowned at his dinner, and instantly screamed!
The llamas outside appeared mildly amused,
While my tot thrashed about and his lunch was refused.
We gulped down our food and the staff checked us in,
Trying to welcome us over the din.
The cottage was cosy, but after the meal,
It took us a while to shrug off the ordeal.
The setting was peaceful and so picturesque,
But my screeching boy’s mood was quite simply grotesque!
The afternoon passed, he continued to bawl,
But hey? Suck it up! It’s a break after all?
So we ventured back out to find something to eat,
And hedging our bets chose a cheeky McTreat,
But just as expected each nourishing course,
Consisted of no more than “hand in red sauce”
The evening approached and the kids were both wired,
Vibrating on ketchup and manically tired.
They both had a bath (though the water was cold).
Surprisingly accepted bedtime when told.
We climbed into bed, snuggled down to nod off.
When out of the darkness, we heard it….
The Cough – that says go find a bucket and quick,
The cough that says no, too late Mummy, “I sick!”
Our Little Miss Tot had her head down the loo,
The horrible lurgy had got to her too!
“Somebody somewhere is having a laugh!”
I growled as I threw sicky sheets in the bath.
The trauma continued all throughout the night.
“My throat hurts!” “I’m poorly!” right through to daylight.
With shot bleary eyes we accepted defeat.
And packed up the car in a hasty retreat.
To crawl our way home through the holiday queues.
While both of the tots had a three hour snooze.
This wonderful break was supposed to be bliss?
That somebody somewhere WAS taking the p!ss!
The brochure was clearly to blame all along.
It’s somewhat misleading, the adverts were wrong!
The kids in the pictures were calm and serene?
They seemed to be smiling? Their faces were clean?
Our offspring are faulty – I wish to complain!
They’re both on a mission to drive us insane!
In all future brochures, quite clearly in view,
There should be a note that says:
“This won’t be you!”
There should be the option that makes it quite clear.
To: “Insert your own stroppy tot pictures here!”
So next time the hubby says let’s go away!? My polite response will be “Fudge that! No way!” I’d rather stay home and just sit on my bed, And have a nice time burning bank notes instead.
So next time the hubby says let’s go away!?
“The Tots seem too poorly.” I’ll lovingly say.
Let’s let them stay cosy, and wrapped up in bed.
Let’s just give them Calpol and cuddles instead.
*As quoted by the fantastic Llama Karma Cafe and Llama’s Pyjamas B&B (Penrith).
Thank you for what could have been a wonderful mini – break. We’ll be back. One day. When the kids are about 18 😉
ps: Sorry about the sheets!
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