family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.

Hi. I am Dudley.

I’m Dudley The Dog.
I’m awarded with glee to your well behaved sprog.

I’ll be thrust in your face with a giddy, proud squeak,
As the teacher explains about “Star of The Week”.

You may find yourself torn between absolute pride,
And distrust ย for the guest that has thus been supplied.

As you peer in my bag and gasp “Ooh what’s in here?”
Through your faint gritted teeth but still sounding sincere.

“My holiday journal” you read with dismayutter excitement
As you try to think what you have planned the next day.

This is the challenge.ย  This is the measure.
To prove that your weekends are awesome.
No pressure.

Where the fudge you will take me is anyone’s guess,
But you’ll pick up the gauntlet with fierce-mum prowess.

You’ll embark on a quest to become Supermum,
And you’ll capture a weekend stuffed jam-packed with fun!

I might look all cuddly and fluffy and shy,
But observe that small mischievous glint in my eye:

As your Star Of The Week has a sister you see,
A sibling whom too wants a teddy like me!

She’ll try not to notice and seem not to care,
But develop and brand new compulsion to SHARE!

If HEEE gets a teddy then she wants one too!
I’ll be more in demand than a plate that is blue!

But you’ll drag me about from one joy to the next,
And convince your small boy I’M the toy he likes best.

Image shows Dudley The Dog on the floor on his side.
Me. The toy he likes best. Obvs.

I’ll pose and you’ll snap me wherever I’m placed,
“The Adventures of Dudley” Will thus be embraced.

No nursery parent shall doubt or refute!
(Though in truth I’ll spend most of my time in the boot.)

Then you’ll write up my weekend with humour and glee,
As you scroll through a squillion pictures of ME!

You’ll debate with your hubby and try not to shout,
As you work out who’s printing the sodding things out.

The book shall be finished.
The weekend is done.
You have played Superhost
And goddammit you’ve WON!

You’ll regale that I’m still in one piece and I’m fine,
And kick back with a well deserved chilled glass of wine juice.

The Boy on the other-hand won’t be too fussed.
And will hand me back in seeming rather nonplussed.

He’ll forget that I’ve ever been over to stay.

But he’ll know he’s had quite a nice time anyway.

89 thoughts on “The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.

    1. I was secretly so relieved it was The Boy’s room’s mascot as his big sister’s room has a mascot that would give me nightmares! Kind of like Chucky. I’d possibly have had to involve the washing machine too – If only just to keep it trapped somewhere for a while haha. x

  1. I love the parental
    Competition to give the class toy the best weekend it always makes me laugh! Great poem Hun as always you captured this situation perfectly. Thank you for hosting #DreamTeam

  2. Ha ha, I bloody hate getting the nursery toy! Thankfully, my youngest has just left nursery, so I hope that’s the end of it now… #DreamTeam

    1. The timing is never great is it? Ours came a few days before I had to go for a planned operation ?. Kind of the last thing I’d got planned along with the endless housework and ironing that needed to get done haha. Always time for a quick go on the swings though ๐Ÿ˜‰ x

  3. HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I bloody LOVED this!!! I have been through the scourge of not one but TWO school bears to date โ€“ we had to change their sodding clothes each day and everything (more than I do for my own children oftentimes)! It was hell! And oh the printing out โ€“ yes yes yes, plenty of shouting at husband was done and plenty of wine was consumed! I was laughing all the way through this โ€“ and the bit about the boot โ€“ I actually posted a FB status update the weekend we had one of the bears asking fellow primary school mums if it would be acceptable to say he spent the weekend in the boot of my car!
    Who ever decided these would be a good idea?! #DreamTeam

    1. The boot of the car is the only safe place for him to stay and where I’m fairly confident that I won’t forget to return him, being as I have yet to forget my car for the nursery drop off and all that! ? Anyway it’s comfy in there are filled with familiar things… like 200 bits of other people’s recycle bins – aka “junk modelling treasures”. They tend to chill out in the boot for a bit too before recycling their way back into the recycle bin. ??? Thanks Jemma! xx

    1. I think the look on my face when we were presented with him (5 days before I was going into hospital might I add) was priceless. The responsibility was just a bit more than I fancied to be honest. He made it through in one peace though and it was quite good fun in the end. ? x

  4. Such pressure we heap on ourselves. Wish everyone would be normal and just do the usual things. I had mine when it was one of my grandparents funerals! Not exactly a glitzy weekend!
    Love the poem especially the deletions ? #dreamteam

    1. You’re so right. The unspoken pressure to be perfect is so silly isn’t it? “WE NEED TO GET AN ELEPHANT IMMEDIATELY SO THAT DUDLEY CAN RIDE IT AND HAVE HIS PICTURE TAKEN!!” …It’s exhausting. ? Thanks lovely! ? x

  5. Hopefully Dudley had a good time ๐Ÿ™‚ The Tubblet’s class had a similar thing where the class toy got to spend a week with you. Flicking through the journal that came with him, the rest of the class had gone all out. He’d been to Disneyland Paris, Museums, Zoos etc. All detailed in the neatest, bestest handwriting with oddles of photos. Our family weekend of supermarket, coffee shop and church must have been either a total rest or a a bit of a let down!
    Tubbs recently posted…At Home I’m a Tourist.My Profile

  6. Oh Dudders, what a wild adventure! Being the mother of a not-yet-at-nursery-or-school-or-anywhere child, I am so glad I don’t have to deal with this yet… I can barely take a half-decent picture, let alone do something interesting to show for his weekend. I’d better start making my life more exciting purely for when this lunacy inevitably befalls me! #dreamteam
    Muffin top mummy recently posted…I donโ€™t want to be a selfish mother, butโ€ฆMy Profile

    1. I’m sure that there’s a Dudley out there already getting very excited for his visit in time to come hehe. It was the whole printing out of the pictures thing that perplexed me the most. I don’t think I’ve done that since around 2003? ? x

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