This time last year I was approaching my due date with Mstr Tot, and having been induced at 42 weeks with his big sister I was not looking forward to those two epic weeks past D-Day. This one is written with love, for anyone who is, (or knows anyone who is), in that final stretch (and sweep, bleugh) …
All that I hear, now I’m forty weeks gone are “Helpful suggestions to bring labour on.”
As people come by they now eye up my bump, sometimes grab it and rub it, ignoring the grump
Of a woman who’s inner voice silently whines, each time some kind sole asks if I’ve “Had any signs?”
“Nope, don’t think I’m in labour” I’d love to reply, before casually poking them straight in the eye.
I’ve done pineapple, and raspberry tea, which did bugger all but for making me pee.
I’ve dabbled with korma (hot curry days gone, as the world simply has not enough Gaviscon).
The shrugged consolations as (doing their best), the wise and well meaning advise you to “rest”.
Not easy, as wearing a live bowling ball, is hardly conducive to resting at all!?
I lay and I shuffle and wriggle in bed, whilst fears of induction swish round in my head.
I mooch round and faff, stock the freezer and such, (it’s packed full of meals which nobody must touch).
I brave the outside, risk a shop if I dare?
(With my hospital bag and some spare underwear).
I’m fully prepared as I’ve seen on the telly, this tot could be desperate to exit my belly!?
I expect that my waters will break with a gush, and babe will fly out in a six minute rush.
As patrons of M&S gather around, I shall no doubt deliver right there on the ground?
So I’ll give all the well meaning strangers a miss, and I’ll nest like a picture of maternal bliss.
….. Or just go to the loo 54 x a day, (not sure what I’m checking but check anyway).
I’ll unpack and repack my hospital stuff, Will 50 maternity pads be enough?
I count down the weeks and the days and the hours, as we wait for the chance to embrace you as ours.
Though most months have thirty days, maybe one more,
Month ten feels like closer to seventy four….
Thanks for reading :0)