I’m very lucky to still be in touch with a group of my gorgeous school friends. These are friendships that have seen me through the roller-coaster of my twenties and thirties, and this next 9 or so months will see each of us celebrate a very special birthday. This one is dedicated to The Girls. … Continue reading Approaching 40: A Poem
Ode to Judgy McJudgepants Ms Judgy McJudgepants (Cat’s Bumface for short ) A self righteous person and critical sort. Will remark on the things that you do through the day. Whilst not giving a toot if it’s not kind to say. She will cast her aspersions, dismiss and abuse, Without walking an inch in another… Continue reading Ode to Judgy McJudgepants
To every parent who is taking that proud picture of their little ones in a school uniform for the very first time. With all the hugs… As I glance at the clock where it ticks on the wall, I’m confused as to whether time’s passed here at all? The same ticking clock, The same silent… Continue reading How Is This Uniform Yours?
Dear Teacher… Our homework is due in at last. It’s taken 5 years but it’s somehow flown past!? We’ve worked really hard, and we think we’ve done great, If you’ll just overlook that we’re 10 mins late? There were times when we questioned the task that you’d set, But I reckon our work here’s the… Continue reading Dear Teacher… As Our Little Girl Starts School.
Hi. I am Dudley. I’m Dudley The Dog. I’m awarded with glee to your well behaved sprog. I’ll be thrust in your face with a giddy, proud squeak, As the teacher explains about “Star of The Week”. You may find yourself torn between absolute pride, And distrust for the guest that has thus been supplied.… Continue reading The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.
Remember your holidays just as a two? The blissful idea of nothing to do? The sleepy siestas and cocktails at noon, As you bathed in the sun to a tropical tune? The crisp hotel sheets and delicious menus, Relaxed pace of life and spectacular views? All of those things that once floated your boat… …… Continue reading Doing Holidays With The Small Humans…
A heartfelt letter to the “Smidiot” at Ikea who designed their multi-coloured packs of plastic plates and dishes: Dear Person at Ikea. With your very clever brain. Your packs of plastic toddler plates are driving me insane. “Let’s make them like a rainbow!” You announced to everyone. “Each plate a different colour! Let’s do that!… Continue reading Dear Person at Ikea…
*This post contains no actual advice about how to pack for a family holiday. Just in case you were concerned.
Five years. Five actual years since we first saw that faint blue line. Five years since we began our family’s once upon a time. I knew the pre-school days would have to end eventually. But here’s a little letter to the mum I thought I’d be: Dear Mummy, You know nothing. You are not one… Continue reading To The Mum I Thought I’d Be.
By Rhyming with Wine Gums aged 4 3/4 And introducing Rhyming with Midget Gems aged 2 3/4. Now and then our grown ups get these things called “itchy feet”. But rather than just scratching them – they choose to change their street. They get this sudden feeling that the place we know as home, No… Continue reading A Toddlers Guide To Moving House.