family · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

Ode to Judgy McJudgepants Ms Judgy McJudgepants (Cat’s Bumface for short ) A self righteous person and critical sort. Will remark on the things that you do through the day. Whilst not giving a toot if it’s not kind to say. She will cast her aspersions, dismiss and abuse, Without walking an inch in another… Continue reading Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Twelve Days of “Doing the After-School Run…”

On the first after-school run my offspring gave to me… A painting of “Mummy and Me.” On the second after-school run my offspring gave to me… One screwed up jacket …and a painting of “Mummy and Me.” On the third after-school run my offspring gave to me… One slung off school bag, One screwed up… Continue reading The Twelve Days of “Doing the After-School Run…”

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Dear Teacher… As Our Little Girl Starts School.

Dear Teacher… Our homework is due in at last. It’s taken 5 years but it’s somehow flown past!? We’ve worked really hard, and we think we’ve done great, If you’ll just overlook that we’re 10 mins late? There were times when we questioned the task that you’d set, But I reckon our work here’s the… Continue reading Dear Teacher… As Our Little Girl Starts School.

Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

I’d Love To Make Friends Like A Toddler…

I’d love to make friends like a toddler. I’m not short of a mum friend or two, But I’m starting to feel quite inspired By my tots and the way that they do… So, I’d rock up to playgroup as normal. Drop my jacket and puff out my chest. Scan the church-hall savanna before me,… Continue reading I’d Love To Make Friends Like A Toddler…

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.

Hi. I am Dudley. I’m Dudley The Dog. I’m awarded with glee to your well behaved sprog. I’ll be thrust in your face with a giddy, proud squeak, As the teacher explains about “Star of The Week”. You may find yourself torn between absolute pride, And distrust ¬†for the guest that has thus been supplied.… Continue reading The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Doing Holidays With The Small Humans…

Remember your holidays just as a two? The blissful idea of nothing to do? The sleepy siestas and cocktails at noon, As you bathed in the sun to a tropical tune? The crisp hotel sheets and delicious menus, Relaxed pace of life and spectacular views? All of those things that once floated your boat… …… Continue reading Doing Holidays With The Small Humans…

family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

Dear Person at Ikea…

A heartfelt letter to the “Smidiot” at Ikea who designed their multi-coloured packs of plastic plates and dishes: Dear Person at Ikea. With your very clever brain. Your packs of plastic toddler plates are driving me insane. “Let’s make them like a rainbow!” You announced to everyone. “Each plate a different colour! Let’s do that!… Continue reading Dear Person at Ikea…