Welcome to another fabulous #Cheers series guest post. #Cheers is where I like to showcase the rhyming talents of some of the very best and loveliest bloggers in bloggerland, and this week I am proud to share with you a cracker from the very talented Michelle of Words & Rhyme blog.
Michelle shares her experiences and observations as a full time working mum, short stories, and posts about fashion and fitness. I instantly connected with her work as she also shares the most brilliant rhymes and poems like I Have a Little Sidekick and the fantastic What People Fail to Mention About a New Baby. If you haven’t come across her blog already please do pop by and show her some #bloggerlove! For now I will hand you over to the star herself with an instant classic that I fear a lot of us will reluctantly be nodding along with….
Farewell to my cleavage.
Farewell to my cleavage, farewell to my tits,
I’m really going to miss you, you were one of my favourite bits.
You didn’t have a long shelf life, not arriving till my late teens,
Apparently a satisfying handful, but not big enough to feature in magazines.
A prominent focal point, of any new first date,
My first boyfriend once remarked, he was gutted they’d pitched up late.
At school there were challenges of pertness; Who’s were the best?
Now never mind the pencil, I wouldn’t pass the pencil case test.
My friends they took the mick, of my Triumph boulder holder,
Embarrassed at the time now I wish I’d been much bolder.
Oh for those Uni days, when people talked to my chest,
If only I still had a cleavage to flaunt in a low cut vest!
Now it’s only a bacon bap, that commands the same male attention,
Maybe it’s time to consider, some uplifting medical intervention.
After my first child two sizes slipped, I was full of woe,
My husband didn’t get it, how would he feel if an inch of his privates was to go?
I remember talk of empty pillows, the horror of spaniels ears.
A concept now becoming, a very realistic, imminent fear.
Running didn’t help the cause, despite a proper supportive running bra,
It seems training for a marathon, pushed their limited elasticity too far.
So now that talk of any more children, has been firmly put to bed,
I’m looking at myself to see what’s left of my favourite part instead.
The damage has been done, the effects of two children far too clear,
I’m regularly having nightmares, about that poor old spaniel’s ear.
And when I finally pluck up the courage to get measured, to hear the nitty gritty,
The lady pops her tape measure in her pocket, and looks at me with pity.
So farewell to my cleavage, farewell to my rack,
Without some serious financial backing, they are never coming back.
So before you have kids get them out, flaunt them for everyone to see,
Because it’s depressing when your former E cup, settles as a B.
Help yourself to the #Cheers series badge if you fancy:
If you are also a rhyming blogger – whether new to rhyming or a seasoned poet, and would like me to share one of your posts as part of my new CHEERS! Rhyming Series, please get in touch.
I’d love to hear from you!