Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

Going AWOL…

Four years I’ve been parenting. FOUR SODDING YEARS!!
That’s three billion nappies, plus sick snot and tears.

But today was a day like you wouldn’t believe.
As the hubby and I took some parental leave!

The Tots go to nursery one day a week,
While I trot into work (Yes. Just ONE day a week.)

But on this day *she whispers and stifles a cough*
The two of us sneakily… took the day off!

We set our alarms and got ready for “work”
and we waved them both off with a secretive smirk.

This day would be ours full of frolics and fun.
With a squeak of excitement our day had begun!

Now we weren’t all that sure what the hell we should do.
Short of bellowing “FREEEEDOOOMM!!!” with face painted blue?

Should we skip down the street with the wind in our hair?
Whilst scattering raisins and wipes in the air?

But with no better plan we both settled on food,
So we set off for brunch in a fabulous mood.

Image shows myself and the hubby in a restaurant with a big smile on our faces

We sat at a table, and nobody screeched.
Not a drink was knocked over, no salt pot was reached.

Our food was enjoyed both in peace and whilst hot,
No-one cried over mushrooms, or passed me their snot.

Then we paid and we left, as the normal types do.
No-one had to return to retrieve a lost shoe.

And we calmly suggested (with no actual fear)
That perhaps we might fancy a browse round Ikea?

So into the shop we both casually strolled,
Clearly drunk on the freedom and feeling quite bold.

And a basket was purchased, you know, just because,
Yet our blood pressure stayed just the same as it was?

Not a singular Γ–NSKAD was dragged off a shelf?
An entire pack of Daim was consumed by myself.

Not a mild “screeching plank” or a vague hissy fit?
And no-one did swearing or misplaced their sh**?

And whilst riding this almondy chocolaty high,
We thought that a film might be pleasant to try?

So into the cinema, hub and I went,
And unspeakable money on popcorn was spent.

We sat for a film, in the dark, before noon,
Not a Minion to sniff at. Not even cartoon?

And the singular soundtrack was that from the screen?
No-one called me a bean-head or said I was mean.

For three blissful hours I had nothing to do,
So I sat very still and admired the view

The film was a hit – it was truly superb
There was no-one to nag me or whinge or disturb.

As I pulled on my coat, and got ready to go,
We peered at the sky – it had started to snow.

Image shows a gloomy, cold and rainy car park.
This is what the outside looked like…

The damp car-park loomed and the frosty wind cried,
We were cosy, relaxed and so peaceful inside?

Image shows inside a warm comfortable and quiet cinema foyer with a bar area.
This is what the inside looked like…

“We still have three hours!” We observed with a cheer.
“Let’s pick a new movie and just stay right here!”

So we purchased more crap with a crazed geeky grin,
Climbed back in our seats and we both snuggled in!

Three more lovely hours to just sit and stare,
Not a singular stress or a parental care.

And we left, two films down, feeling charged and replete,
With new life in our souls and a spring in our feet.

After 10 blissful hours, in peace, on our own,
We were ready to fetch them to check if they’d grown.

And despite the distinct lack of snot puke and sh**
We both kind of admitted – we’d missed them a bit.

And I suddenly felt overwhelmed by one wish,
To scoop up my Β babies and give them a squish!

So we drove to collect them and knocked on the door,
Just a teeny bit keener than ever before.

As they rushed up to greet us we felt a bit bad,
They were both so excited to see Mum and Dad.

With four arms reaching out and two hugs full of tears….
…Our next day gone awol, can wait four more years.

Image shows a latte with a biscotti at the side.
Fond memories… See this coffee? I drank it. Hot. And the biscuit – I ate it. Me. Β No sharing was done.

*Disclaimer: No actual sickies were thrown in the above day of skiving. We took holidays. Because quite frankly we’re just not that bad-ass!Β 

This post first featured on the Meet Other Mums Blog page where I am proud to appear as a regular blogger.

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115 thoughts on “Going AWOL…

  1. This is fantastic Dawn – and good for you two! Cannot remember the last time we went to the cinema… What a treat. X

  2. Love the disclaimer at the bottom! It would have been funny if you had thrown sickies but not very smart to blog about them. Glad you enjoyed your day of freedom. A bit of change makes you feel closer to what you know and love doesn’t it?

    Sally @ Life Loving

    1. “Bean head” is the insult of choice in our home apparently. I once asked my 4 year old what the magic word was after she had demanded something or other. You can imagine how impressed I was when she replied with the b word!? πŸ˜‰ Thank you x

  3. Lovely way to capture your little get-away:). Me and my husband go every year for a 3-day weekend retreat on the sea side and it’s fantastic. And we do miss our kids, probably more then they miss us, as you know there’s nothing better than to be with grandparents for 3 days!!;))) #dreamteam

  4. Awww there was a little lump in my throat at the end! Sometimes I can’t wait to get a bit of us time away from our Little Man but I miss him something chronic when he’s not about >-< #dreamteam

  5. Oh how lovely to have a day just to yourselves! What bliss, but I do get that you missed the little ones too. Even with a teen and a tween I get that feeling when they’re not with me. #DreamTeam
    Lisa recently posted…Warming UpMy Profile

  6. I love the disclaimer at the end haha. I was smiling as I was reading this but then the end gave me goosebumps. It’s so true isn’t it, we think we want a day without them but we miss them so much!
    Have you ever thought about publishing your poems in a book? It would make an AWESOME baby shower gift! I’d buy it! #DreamTeam

  7. We do this sometimes too… take the day off when Little Man’s at nursery and galavant around town like teenagers (then come back for a nap before it’s time to pick him up)… like getting-old-and-really-tired-thirty-something parents! But these ‘outings’ are a breath of fresh air, even just the time spent together, without interruption or snot or tantrums. Lovely post.
    #dreamteam
    Nicole – Tales from Mamaville recently posted…5 β€˜Super Hero’ Rules for ToddlersMy Profile

  8. I love this! Reminded me of hubby’s birthday where we had the most amazing brunch followed by a trip to the cinema and then back to the house to watch three uninterrupted episodes of Gilmore Girls! Literally the perfect day πŸ™‚ glad you enjoyed yourselves, can’t believe you saw 2 films in a row!!! Bet it was bliss! #DreamTeam

  9. Amazing poem! Love it. Lots of respect for fitting in two films as well. I know what you mean about pick-up after a day off though…once you’ve been without them you realise how much you want those little squidgy cuddles. #DreamTeam
    Angela Watling recently posted…Reasons I am grateful #1My Profile

  10. Two cinema trips????? oooo what did you see?
    Sometimes a bit of “you” time is needed and if you needed to have a days holiday then so be it! (i might steal your idea of doing a weekday skive!
    I bet you both feel so much better for it! I know when I have a whole day without little man; me and Hubby cannot wait to see his cute little face!
    #dreamteam
    Mrs Mummy Harris recently posted…Yoomi Feeding System: The Self-heating BottleMy Profile

  11. You are living the dream sister, LIVING THE DREAM! Our daughter goes to childminder on a Wednesday and we plan to do exactly the same soon once wok isn’t so busy. We too will feel guilty though because the house opposite is where she goes for the day. We will need to creep out!!! Thanks for sharing #DreamTeam

  12. Well done to both of you! My husband gets 2 days a month off from work (excluding leave) so we go for breakfast, and get our errands done, use them for appointments that are joint etc. It’s a lovely peaceful time and much needed and treasured.
    #dreamteam

  13. Hello, only me! Yes I did just unlike then re-like your post here by accident, sorry!! πŸ™ˆ Just popping back from #DreamTeam. I didn’t get a chance to comment on Facebook the other day but I loved that you saw two films back to back!! Something good, I hope? xxx
    Mrs Lighty recently posted…Babywearing Myths Busted!My Profile

  14. Ok clearly we have different ideas of what to do with one’s husband during a child free day off 😊 Personally I dont think you really paid attention to the second film ahem. Don’t wait four more years though. Fab words and photos love. #dreamteam

  15. This sort of freedom is intoxicating and highly addicting! But as always, as soon as my husband and I get a taste of that freedom we spend much of the time talking about our two wardens (children) that keep us locked up. Is that how we know that we are actually good parents? That we miss them when they are gone even though we relish in their absence?

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