I have a fantabulous circle of friends,
A tribe that have been there through all of life’s trends.
But over the decades life moved us apart,
And they’re not round the corner but still in my heart.
Our drunken adventures have truly been missed,
So we thought we should have a night out and get drunk!
We thought back with fondness of nights out gone by,
And picked out a Newcastle venue, “Why Aye!”
Our first trip in years and we knew things might change,
But now that we’re older a few things seemed strange!?
So I’ve written this post if I may be so bold,
Just to share what it’s like to go out now we’re”Old!“
So I’ll start with the ritual of pre-night out prep,
A few of us seem just a touch out of step;
1) Choices of outfit are laid out on beds,
Eyebrows are followed by quick “mani-peds”
….Then a WhatsApp appears asking:
“What should I do?
My fake tan expired in 2002!“
“And my gloves have disolved!?”
(Which quite frankly makes sense –
The packaging postage was just 19 pence??)
2) The BBC weather app has to be checked,
And clothing selected with all due respect,
3) We buy extra water and pack some to go,
As “We’ll need to hydrate after drinking you know!”
4) With minimal luggage, each one of us packs
An obligatory mountain of train journey snacks.
We get there, and Google to find our hotel,
And soon all our party have checked in as well,
5) Our hotel room “Pre-drinks” are now done with class.
Not swigged from a bottle, but sipped from a glass…
We each then get dressed whilst repeatedly told,
That we each look fantastic and NO-ONE LOOKS OLD!
7) One friend is quite shocked and concerned by the news,
That we haven’t all got “Fold up handbag sized shoes?”
As “How will we each be remotely alright, if we’re still in our heels at the end of the night?”
8) We head out flat shoe-less and risking the pain,
With super cool brollies to fend off the rain.
9) We enter a bar and there’s quite a to do,
As we find us a barman that still serves Taboo!
10) We stand with our drinks and attempt to look cool,
Then spot a nice corner and each grab a stool.
Our glasses are “chinked” and the party can start,
It’s instantly like we were never apart,
We chat and we giggle, it’s just like old times,
As vodka is splashed over ice cubes and limes.
But I can’t go too long without needing the loos,
So we head for a wee in obligatory twos
11) We instantly gag as we walk through the door,
And try to walk in without touching the floor.
We do what we need to and try not to think,
Of the things that appear to have died in that sink!?
(No image here… use your imagination. You’re welcome!)
The party continues and cocktails enjoyed,
The old dance floor radars are duly deployed,
So brollies engaged we head out of the pub,
And program stilettos to seek out a club.
We find one and manage to get in the queue,
But not without first being told what to do!
(Apparently queues have got more complicated in recent years?)
We note now that entrance is no longer free,
And somehow the kitty is handed to me,
12) I offer a twenty to pay for our four,
But apparently night clubs now cost a bit more?
My £20 is met with a look of disdain,
As I lay out more bank notes again and again….
But still we are in, and the night is still ours,
Bring on more vodka let’s do the small hours!
We tried not to notice the age of the crowd,
And we boogie our socks off whilst singing aloud!
As new songs come on we all nod and approve,
And try to engage in some new funky move.
(No images here either – again – You’re welcome!)
So proud that the songs are still ones that we know!
*coughs*…. They’d all been remixed from two decades ago.
13) It’s back to the bar where the
Serve four pints of water
and try not to laugh.
14) We recognise home time without any force,
And leave of free will (via chip shop of course).
15) My feet are in bits and I’m not on my own,
But our shoes stay in situ until we get home!
16) We tiptoe and “Ssshhhhhh!” as we walk through the door,
(We’d somehow been booked on the family floor?).
17) My make up is carefully wiped from my face,
No longer removed by a white pillow case.
18) I message the hubby to wish him “Night night”.
So he’ll wake in the morning and know I’m alright.
19) I wish my fab roommate a pleasant night too,
And nobody’s head is engaged down the loo.
No-one is battered, We all feel alright,
We’ve all had a brilliant, hassle free night.
20) I wake to a message, dispatched at lark’s fart,
That fills me with joy in my hungover heart,
As one of our party has text us to say,
“We’ve done more than half of our steps for the day!”
So thank you all ladies, for such a fab time,
Thanks for the giggles, the memories and wine,
The years may pass by on the road to “Old Fart”
But we’ll never be older than 20 at heart!
Dust down those diaries, let’s set the next date!
The Grey Goose is calling!
….I can’t bloody wait!
Dedicated to the ones that couldn’t make it this time. You will be pleased to know that we drank extra just for you. See you for the next one! xx
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