Remember your holidays just as a two?
The blissful idea of nothing to do?
The sleepy siestas and cocktails at noon,
As you bathed in the sun to a tropical tune?
The crisp hotel sheets and delicious menus,
Relaxed pace of life and spectacular views?
All of those things that once floated your boat…
… Forget it.
You’re now a Redcoat.
5.30 am and your first day begins,
As you’re greeted by offspring with chaotic grins.
With complete disrespect for both neighbours and hour,
They’re set for adventure and charged to full power.
With no option to snooze and invoke Paw Patrol,
You reluctantly take on parental control.
The hoteliers now dictate when they can eat,
So they whine “Is it breakfast time yet?” on repeat.
You tug on your blazer and paint on your face.
You are going for gold in the parenting race,
It is 5.45. You’re all up and you’re dressed.
So you reach for the toy bag and hope for the best.
The toy bag you let the kids back by themselves,
Into which they swept all of the toot from their shelves.
Half a toy train and a mountain of tat?
Good luck passing 22 seconds with that!
Don’t panic, you’ve got this, you’re Redcoat-prepared!
You’ve a rucksack of stickers and pens to be shared…
… And so it continues.
All throughout the day.
As the small folk dictate your events in their way.
From one “fun activity” on to the next,
You shall bounce.
Filled with caffeine and desperate to rest.
From soft-play to swimming to playgrounds and swings.
Your sugar-fuelled charges demand “All the things!!“
You slide through the day with no hope of a break,
Whilst ever your tiny employer’s awake.
Like a weary old donkey you drag that back-pack,
Always primed to wipe hands or dispense a light snack.
Your senses are heightened on scarlet alert,
To prevent the small clumsies from getting too hurt.
As they launch themselves head first upon hard tiled floors,
Chance their luck by the pool, trap their fingers in doors…
You’re never off duty.
No drinks and no swears.
Your ‘vacay’ agenda revolves around theirs.
But unlike the Redcoats, we do it for free!
We pay for the privilege in fact, happily!?
And we have to admit that it isn’t all bad.
In fact some of these hols are the best that we’ve had!
The countdown of sleeps and their excited smile,
Are all that’s required to make trips worth our while.
We can we wait til we’re home to crack open the wine.
Once we’ve got them to bed at their usual time.
We all toast to the memories and how the time’s flown.
And start planning the next one before they’re full grown.
This post originally featured on the fabulous Meet Other Mums blog page, for whom I am proud to be a regular blogger.