family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme · Toddler

Hoodwinked!

T’was a morning like no other when at twenty five past six,
A little girl peered sheepishly across her Weetabix.

She paused for just a moment as she thought of what to say,
Then whispered “I don’t want to go to nursery today”.

Which came as a surprise as she had so far loved to go?
Had somebody upset the girl? Mum asked,
But she said “No”.

“I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time!” the hopeful mum replied.
The little girl looked back down to her Weetabix and sighed.

“I think I might be poorwy now”. She hesitantly said.
“I think I might take teddy and we might just go to bed”.

The Mummy checked her temperature, but all was fine and cool.
Perhaps The Mummy’s baby girl mistook her for a fool?

And sensing just the same, The Mummy moved on to suggest,
The tried and tested remedy of “Oh dear. Let’s get dressed”.

And ever so reluctantly the little girl obeyed,
Whilst frequently objecting in the hope Mum might be swayed.

But Mum pushed on regardless with a forced but cheerful grin,
This was no time for weakness! She would not be giving in!

She rounded up her offspring and they marched towards the door.
But sensing her defeat the girl collapsed upon the floor.

Bringing out the big guns she adopted “Screeching Plank”.
Observing which, with shoes in hand, The Mum visibly sank.

She tried a dose of tough love… “There’s no time for this today!”
“You can just stay there then, Mummy’s going anyway!”

The Mummy marched outside and left the girl still on the floor,
(Pretending that she’d left but with one ear pressed to the door).

The protests of the girl ascended now to dizzy scales.
Her frantic screeching now was only audible to whales.

Their slightly judgey neighbour eyed the scene with nosy pride.
And so The Mum submitted as she scuttled back inside.

And scooping up her girl she softly soothed: “I understand”.
But still the tot protested “I DON’T WIKE IT UNDYSTAND!!”

And nothing could console her from apparent misery?
This little girl had no intent to go to nursery.

The Mummy knew her girl and had experienced her whims,
The car seat would not happen with so many flailing limbs!

So,

The Mummy phoned the Daddy seeking answers to her riddle?
How to make a planking tot more bendy in the middle?

This fit, so out of character, was not like her at all?
She could be really sick? They’d have to make a judgement call.

The parents of the little girl considered it all out,
And “Just this once” their tot received the benefit of doubt.

And instantly she calmed to know that she had been reprieved.
With remnants of sobs she shuffled back upstairs relieved.

Seemingly exhausted she resigned herself to bed.
With kisses from The Mummy and a snuggle from her Ted.

The Mum was now convinced. The girl was poorly after all!
She tiptoed back downstairs and gave the nursery a call.

But then, just minutes later Little Girl appeared to say:
“Can we get my toys out mum? I think I’d like to play!”

The Mummy frowned and stated “No – As poorly girls and boys,
Are meant to rest and sleep it off, not tear about with toys!”

The Mummy and The Girl regard each other silently.
The mother contemplating what her daughter’s words might be.

Surely she could not have been outwitted by a child?
Was it even possible to be quite so beguiled?

Had it all just been a trick to suck The Mummy in…?

….”Think I feeling better now!”
The girl said with a grin.

*Swear word!!!!*

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75 thoughts on “Hoodwinked!

  1. Ha ha! Kids are funny & nightmares at times. The poorly card is always a tough one to judge. I’m very much let’s go & see how you are by lunchtime, smile, cross fingers and shoo everyone out. Lifeinthemumslane x

  2. Ah this one made me smile. I had BP do this to me many times when he was younger and he’s even tried it recently (he’s 11!). xx

  3. Hi Dawn, a very clever bit of poetry. And a very clever little girl. Can’t imagine she’ll get away with that too often!

    xx

  4. hehehe I had a feeling she was playing you!! What a madam 😉 So funny. We get a few “I don’t want to go to nursery too”. Usually our girlie is ok after she has been handed over but you do feel really bad at first!! xx #fartglitter

    1. It’s just that “but what if she really is poorly and they think I’m a terrible mum for sending her” thing. I’m pretty sure I’ll get over that fairly quickly though ;0)

      Thank you for commenting xx

  5. Such a tough judgement call to make. Get it wrong and send a poorly child to nursery will result in phone calls and mcjudgey looks from the teachers, but get it wrong and keep an unpoorly child home and you teach them that thisbis a clever trick! #fartglitter

    1. This is pretty much the exact script of the telephone call. Unfortunately we swayed the wrong way. Bring it on judgy mcjudgy pants teachers… next time she’s coming in! Plague and all! 😀 x

  6. Been there and been caught out by this one before, kids are so clever, it soon became a spoon of calpol and off you go in our house unless they looked obviously ill. Very hard to call though. #MarvMondays

  7. I’ve had plenty of these encounters myself. There seems to be a miraculous recovery about a half hour after the decision to stay home happens. It can be so tough to tell if they are really sick or just don’t want to go to school! #fartglitter

  8. Haha I love your ending *swear word!* Bless her little cotton socks! We sometimes have this where Little Button is apparently too sick to go to her childminders, but would probably be fine for big girl nursery! They are too cute. #MarvMondays

  9. Gotta love a screaming plank!! DT hasn’t cottoned on to ‘I’m poorly’ yet, and is still taken in with ‘come on, we’re going somewhere and it’s a surprise!’ on a nursery day…! The last time I made the mistake of telling him where we were going, I then had to negotiate him there, up a very large hill, trying to get him to stay on a buggyboard…*shudders.* She got you a good one there!!!!!
    #fartglitter

    1. I heart the screaming plank. It is my favourite type of plank. I also enjoy trying to get it into a car seat. But if I thought that was tough I’m now trying to imagine getting one onto a buggy board?

      …. considers this…..

      Think I may need to pop for a lie down. Sending vodka! Xx

  10. “Bendy in the middle”…OMG, so good! That’s the hardest I’ve laughed today, thank you. It’s difficult to tell with the invisible ailments…rule of thumb: Err on the side of caution;-) #fartglitter

  11. This line! “How to make a planking tot more bendy in the middle?” I love it! Great poem as always! #MarvMondays

  12. Cheeky little poppet!! We have had the miraculous recovery more than once too. Screeching plank is also a favourite!
    #abitofeverything

    1. I didn’t mind “screeching plank” so much when she was tiny as I could still pretty much pick her up and manoeuvre her plank and all. Now though as a 3 1/2 year old, not so much! Thanks for your comment 😉

  13. Haha – I absolutely love this. I think our little people may be attending the same College for Pulling One Over on Mummies. Glad to hear she made such a miraculous recovery though 🙂 #abitofeverything

  14. Totally brilliant we have twin girls definitely trying there luck just this morning Maisie needed her medicine before nursery and my wife said Maisie medicine before nursery to which she replied daddy gave it to me I had gone to work but I hadn’t
    #bestandworst

  15. Nooooooooo, what a cheeky monkey. I was believing that she was properly ill until the end. Oh they are so good at outwitting us. Brilliant poem as always. Hope she felt better going to nursery the next day #coolmumclub

    1. Thank you. She was absolutely fine the next day. Probably because I was absolutely determined that she was going, so she couldn’t sense the opportunity to hoodwink me again 🙂 Thank you for commenting x

  16. Oh this is brilliant. Thankfully we’ve yet to have the “I’m poorwy” card being played but I can imagine it must be a difficult call to judge sometimes and amazing how quickly the “recovery” can be!

  17. He, he! what a clever little thing. I genuinely believed that she might be poorly and I’d get to the end to find out that a cold or bug would suddenly appear and was laughing when I realised you’d been outwitted! I think I would have done exactly the same thing though, she was very convincing 😉 Thanks for linking this up to #MarvMondays as always. Funniest one yet! Emily

    1. My little lady is far too clever for her own good hehe. It’s the first time I’ve ever been a bit peeved that she’s not poorly?? 😉 Thank you very much for hosting and your lovely comment. Dawn x

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