A parenting parody based on Julia Donaldson’s brilliant children’s book Day Monkey Night Monkey.
The light shone bright at the playgroup,
‘I’m Right’ Mummy sat sipping tea.
She tutted and growled as ‘My Way’ Mummy scowled,
And thought ‘She should do it like me!’
My Way Mummy tried not to notice,
That I’m Right Mummy looked so displeased.
But she tried to explain all her actions,
So her inner mum-guilt might be eased.
‘Look!’ said I’m Right Mummy, rolling her eyes,
‘What’s that in his mouth silly mummy?’
My Way Mummy shrugged, feeling nervous and judged,
‘It’s only a comforting dummy?’
‘Goodness!’ said Right Mummy, ‘Milk from a bottle?’
She tutted whilst shaking her head.
Way Monkey sighed, feeling wounded inside,
‘Does it matter as long as he’s fed?’
‘Stop!’ said I’m Right Mummy. ‘Listen to that!’
‘Could that be the sound of TV!?’
Way mummy snapped feeling cornered and trapped,
‘But it buys a few moments for me!?’
‘Hey! said My Way Mummy, ‘Hold on a minute!’
‘You’re not all that perfect you know!’
‘My patience is flagging with your child that’s nagging!’
‘Hasn’t she heard the word NO?’
‘Look’ said I’m Right Mummy, that’s not my fault,
‘She won’t have a nap so she’s tired!’
Way Mummy sneered as she now interfered,
‘Some routine might just leave her less wired!’
‘Goodness’ said Way Mummy, ‘Can’t she self-settle?’
‘Just give controlled crying a try!’
Right Mummy cringed while her little one whinged.
‘But I can’t bear to leave her to cry.’
‘Stop!’ said My Way Mummy. ‘That’s not a puree!?’
You’re feeding her carrots and peas!?’
‘It’s baby-led weaning!’ said Right Mummy, reeling.
‘She chews it and swallows with ease.’
‘Hey!’ Said Right Mummy. This just isn’t helpful.
‘We’re both simply doing our best!’
Please ‘Get off my back! I feel under attack!
And let’s give all this judgement a rest.’
‘You’re right.’ Said Way Mummy.
‘We both are well-meaning, each one of us finding our way.’
Right Mummy nodded, and onward they plodded,
Each muddling through day by day.
Now Right Mummy goes to the playgroup,
And Way Mummy sits by her side.
They watch both their children – so happy,
Which fills both the mummies with pride.
They share tales of wins and of tough times,
And listen compassionately.
Each stronger for having the other,
Whilst they both drink their barely warm tea.
Julia Donaldson is quite literally my rhyming hero and both myself and my two tots are huge fans of her work. If you enjoyed this post you might quite like some of my other parodies of her books, all of which have been given a mummy twist:
My Womb Is a Squash and a Squeeze – Based on A Squash and a Squeeze.
Supermum – Based on Superworm.
The Snail and the Fail – Based on The Snail and The Whale.