My tots were born just two years (less four days) apart, and for a while things were a bit, erm, tricky shall we say? If only I had a pound (or a cake, or some wine,) for every time I was offered that classic quote: “You’ll need to have eyes in the back of your head”…
I find that I’m frequently offered advice.
From well-meaning people – all ever so nice.
Regarding my tot who has now reached “that” age,
That “getting his paws into everything” stage.
smug wise little smile it is lovingly said:
That I’ll “need to get eyes in the back of my head!“
“Aw thanks!” I respond. That’s such a great tip!
“I’ll get some from Boots on my next shopping trip!” *impressed face*
But if I could buy some (between you and me),
I’m not all that sure that I’d like what I see?
So yes, I would know which tot had that toy first,
Before it became a huge ‘IT’S MINE!’ outburst.
No longer would fingers get trapped in the door,
Or Play-Doh be stamped into carpeted floor.
I’d catch that launched yogurt before it went splat!
With Supermum reflexes – quick as a cat!
I’d see how my Tot somehow climbed from the floor,
And ended up stood in my cutlery drawer? #truestory
My lipsticks would never be squished out of shape,
And books might not need quite so much sticky tape.
But even four eyes still would not be enough,
To stop The Tot licking all manner of stuff!?
And yes, I would see him eye up the loo brush,
And firmly say “No!” – even shout at a push?
But unless I can reach him at lightening pace.
It won’t stop him smushing it into his face!
I could watch like an eagle, observe all day long,
But I think my advisors are getting it wrong.
My distinct lack of eyes is a shoddy excuse,
As having more eyes wouldn’t be of much use.
The more eyes I have the more hands I would need!
The lack of which gets rather tricky indeed!
And while extra hands would be truly sublime,
They’re still little use with the same lack of time!
And thus, with my two eyes, I’ll just shrug and sigh.
and maybe let some of the small stuff go by?
As without extra limbs and more hours a day,
A couple more eyes aren’t much use anyway.
So no offence thanks but I’ll give them a miss,
As ignorance can be a little bit…
This post originally featured on the fabulous Meet Other Mums blog page, for whom I am proud to be a regular blogger.
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