family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme · Toddler

The “Into Everything” phase….

My tots were born just two years (less four days) apart, and for a while things were a bit, erm, tricky shall we say?  If only I had a pound (or a cake, or some wine,) for every time I was offered that classic quote: “You’ll need to have eyes in the back of your head”…

I find that I’m frequently offered advice.
From well-meaning people – all ever so nice.

Regarding my tot who has now reached “that” age,
That “getting his paws into everything” stage.

With a smug wise little smile it is lovingly said:
That I’ll “need to get eyes in the back of my head!

“Aw thanks!” I respond. That’s such a great tip!
“I’ll get some from Boots on my next shopping trip!” *impressed face*

But if I could buy some (between you and me),
I’m not all that sure that I’d like what I see?

So yes, I would know which tot had that toy first,
Before it became a huge ‘IT’S MINE!’ outburst.

No longer would fingers get trapped in the door,
Or Play-Doh be stamped into carpeted floor.

I’d catch that launched yogurt before it went splat!
With Supermum reflexes – quick as a cat!

I’d see how my Tot somehow climbed from the floor,
And ended up stood in my cutlery drawer? #truestory

My lipsticks would never be squished out of shape,
And books might not need quite so much sticky tape.

But even four eyes still would not be enough,
To stop The Tot licking all manner of stuff!?

And yes, I would see him eye up the loo brush,
And firmly say “No!” – even shout at a push?

But unless I can reach him at lightening pace.
It won’t stop him smushing it into his face!

I could watch like an eagle, observe all day long,
But I think my advisors are getting it wrong.

My distinct lack of eyes is a shoddy excuse,
As having more eyes wouldn’t be of much use.

The more eyes I have the more hands I would need!
The lack of which gets rather tricky indeed!

And while extra hands would be truly sublime,
They’re still little use with the same lack of time!

And thus, with my two eyes, I’ll just shrug and sigh.
and maybe let some of the small stuff go by?

As without extra limbs and more hours a day,
A couple more eyes aren’t much use anyway.

So no offence thanks but I’ll give them a miss,
As ignorance can be a little bit…

…bliss!

This post originally featured on the fabulous Meet Other Mums blog page, for whom I am proud to be a regular blogger.

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Proudly linked up with:

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105 thoughts on “The “Into Everything” phase….

  1. I love it. There are always smug people ready to offer advice aka smug ‘thank god it isn’t me anymore’ statements! Well done on all the Co hosting…. When do you find the time?? Xxx

    1. Thank you hun. It was a bit manic for two weeks as I was doing #fartglitter and #passthesauce but I had plenty of notice so I prepared quite a lot before and just had a couple of late nights doing the comments. It was actually really good fun, although I think ones enough on a permanent basis! 😉 x

  2. Haha, so good and so true! I think we could have octopus-like limbs and we still wouldn’t manage to keep them from getting anything and everything in their mouths. I’d have all 8 eyes turned away for a split second and in that split second he’d be licking dog poo or something. [facepalm emoji] #fartglitter

    1. Haha exactly! Unless you can just stand and state at them 24 hours a day they’re pretty much going to fry up to “stuff” the second you turn your back. Best to let them get some practice at “stuff” in so that they can be confident at it I say. Probably safer that way 😉 Thanks hun x

  3. This is amazing!
    I agree 4 eyes would be bloody horrendous. Plus i cant even manage to put make up on my normal eyes properly!

    #fartglitter

    1. Aah. Because shopping trolleys are renowned for their fabulous taste and standards of hygiene! I caught The Boy sticking his plastic spade into our little (manky) water feature thing in the garden and then licking it? I mean seriously? Is he trying to contract legionnaires disease? Just gross! 😉 X

  4. We are just entering this stage now. It’s exhausting and I know I’ve got a fair few years of it yet!! Will let you know how I get on with that!! Thanks for hosting #fartglitter 🙂 xxx

  5. Fantastic – as always! I love the cliched comments pensioners (it is usually pensioners) dish out. At one point the twins and I couldn’t leave the house without someone saying “oh you’ve got your hands full!” I never knew how to reply. #fartglitter

    1. The frustrating thing is that I’ve even heard these clichés coming out of my own mouth at times? Like an involuntary action? I just can’t help it, even though I know how annoying they are! Thanks for commenting 🙂 x

  6. Can totally hear that fake cackle I get when the ‘well-meaners’ inform me my daugher is a live wire…snigger, snigger, snigger. Well, thanks for that Einstein! Yep; my life and home is constantly in chaos. Ah well…nice to know I’m not the only one! #FartGlitter

    1. You are definitely not alone and I am clearly in good company! I say “Act shocked” next time you’re told this. Just stop and silently stare at them all intense and bewildered. I dare you. Don’t speak and see how long it takes them to change the subject and run off! 😉 They’ll learn haha. Thank Anna x

  7. The amount of things I have not seen or been too lazy to move, I have lost count! hehe. My daughter fell of a chair yesterday whilst I slightly moved to the left to put a yoghurt pot in the bin. You need not only eyes but more arms to catch!! Thanks for hosting and great post as always xx

  8. Love it! And yes, ignorance is definitely bliss………except when you pop to the loo in your socks and realise that your 4 year old missed (again) and forgot to tell you!! #fartglitter

  9. The Popple has just learned to toddle and is starting to get into stuff already. Taking her to the store has become really stressful because if I turn my back for a second, she’s off pulling anything she can find off the shelves. She pretty much destroyed a display of toothbrushes in Morrisons this weekend. #fartglitter

    1. Shopping is just the hardest isn’t it? I mean how are you supposed to actually look at the shelves without taking your eyes off your little one (which inevitably leaves them free to create carnage!) Online is the only way for me! Thanks for commenting x

  10. TM can’t move much yet other than rolling so he can’t do too much damage but everybody is already like ‘just you wait’. Letting the small stuff go by is the only way I think, I had a minor heart attack as I thought he’d managed to eat some paper the other day and then I figured it’s not gonna kill him even if he did! Great post as always, love it. #fartglitter

  11. I love when other people give me (unsolicited) advice! Isn’t it great how they think they know more about our children than we do?! I love how you make sense out of the fact that having more eyes still won’t stop a toddler from getting into things. You would also need lightning fast speed and reflexes, super strength and even then, those little buggers will still give us the slip, LOL! Thanks so much for hosting #fartglitter

  12. My kids are getting older so I thankfully seem to get less well meaning advice! Love a poem but LOVE a funny one, and you’re bang on point, a bit of ignorance is defo bliss and advisable! #fartglitter, cool to be linking up with you guys x

  13. A wonderful blog yet again. As you well know I cannot turn my back for a moment. Currently Mr 1 has got Playdoh, whilst Mr 2 is battering his toy microwave with a stop go sign. I’d love to have a snooze but I’d wake up to find crayon over the wall and cornflakes all over the kitchen floor ? I’ll just wait for bedtime. Gem (aka Colleyswobbles) #fartglitter

  14. I love this! And with four of them I need at least eight eyes, let alone limbs!! The “into everything” stage seems to be lasting far too long for my liking!!!! #fartglitter

  15. Into everything; stressful but fun!
    Why walk carefully when I can just RUN!

    Ooh, what’s that? And this? And those?
    These are my fingers! These are my toes!

    What does that taste like? Yum, yes, more!
    Don’t give a hoot how long it’s been on the floor!

    What would happen if I jumped off there?
    What would happen if I put this in my hair?

    Beware mummy, if you haven’t heard a peep;
    I’m up to mischief, not fast asleep!

    But how would I ever learn what I shouldn’t do,
    If you grew extra eyes and told me what I couldn’t do?

    Yes, my safety is a priority,
    But so is my curiosity!

    So when the Experts give advice,
    Two fingers up should suffice!

    Teehee, #fartglitter 😉

    1. I LOVE IT!!! This is one of the best comments I’ve ever received and if I could share comments I would! I can however share rhymes from fabulous talented bloggers! (Hint hint). Fancy doing a guest post? I’d love to feature you! Thanks so much hun x

  16. Brilliant. You’re so right, I’d just rather not know if someone’s about to spill an entire tub of beads all over the floor unless I could also stop it happening Matrix-styleee 🙂
    #fartglitter

    1. He’s obsessed. Drives me potty. Every single time I try and get a shower do I end up running across the house naked with shampoo in my eyes trying to get the loo brush out of his hands / mouth. It’s a joy! 😉

  17. I am one stranger’s advice from punching someone in the face! I wish people wouldn’t get involved haha!

    This is my favourite line:
    My lipsticks would never be squished out of shape,
    And books might not need quite so much sticky tape.

    But I read it as boobs! I had an image of your boobs being so saggy that they needed loads of sticky tape to wrestle them into a bra!

    1. I think you might have actually met me! In fact I’m now kicking myself for not putting boobs in the first place! ? I’d love to see you just casually dot someone one next time they spout some nice helpful one liner. Fantastic. Thanks for the giggle x

  18. And I thought it was annoying getting the same old advice about being pregnant (normally from people who have never been pregnant) but it looks like it never ends! Sounds like there have been some funny incidents in your house! Brilliant post as ever! x #FartGlitter

    1. Yep the advice definitely seems to keep coming…. The cutlery drawer incident definitely had me Flapping about a bit. The little treasure has worked out that chairs can be climbed upon, and can be dragged to stuff that requires inspection. It’s fun! 😉 Thanks hun x

  19. haha! This is brilliant! you’re right, nothing helps, it will always be chaos no matter how many eyes, hands, feet etc.. but do you know what? sometimes chaos is ok! 🙂 #fartglitter

  20. Haha, brilliant. This one is very Dr Seuss-esque! It’s probably better for our health and sanity that we don’t have eyes in the back of our heads…the grey hairs would come much quicker, lol. x #fartglitter

  21. Oh my gosh Dawn, I just snorted tea out my nose. Your rhymes should come with a warning. That is so funny! *Rushes off to tell everyone to look*. What a brilliant way of thinking, totally agree that 4 eyes would require more arms. Another corker… there really is no end to your talent. x

    Looking forward to the next one. #Fartglitter

  22. Amazing poem as always! Are you sure it wasn’t written about my two?! Dangermouse’s favourite thing is trying to hang off the oven door…and I’m already regretting the trampoline with ladder for ‘self sufficiency’…
    #Passthesauce

  23. That is so true as moms we want to give everyone advice, I think we think they will avoid the pitfalls. All I remember from that phase is learning to put everything up high.

    1. I know what you mean. It’s like a rite of passage to be able to pass on the parenting gospel to someone that is a newer parent than ourselves. I’m as guilty as the next person! I love a bit of advice… but I disagree that all of my problems would be solved with just two extra eyes haha. I’m with you on everything up high! I’m just struggling slightly now that the little one has worked out that chairs can be pushed all around the kitchen floor and then climbed upon. We’re having to advance to a whole new level of high at the moment! Thanks for commenting Heidi x

  24. Hi Dawn, you have to love well meaning advisers, but I’m with you, ignorance is certainly bliss… Until maybe that ‘chocolate’ on the face of the toddler turns out not to be ‘chocolate’ at all!… .

    xx

  25. ha ha ha I was very impressed with the “Boots shopping trip” rhyme line!! I need a pair too… I cannot leave bubba for one moment… she rolls away! This is because she is too lazy to crawl but you’d be surprised how dangerously far she can roll in the 30 secs it takes to pee!!!
    #fartglitter

    1. Ah yes I remember the rolling phase. They seem to be able to roll to the most dangerous spot in the house in seconds don’t they? I’ll see if they have any offers on extra pairs while I’m at Boots and pick you some up 😉 x

  26. ignorance – bliss – I so agree. Loved this verse:
    My lipsticks would never be squished out of shape,
    And books might not need quite so much sticky tape.

    oh and the loo brush – yuck, yuck, yuck but I’ve been there too – could have cried – actually I probably did!

    Another brilliant rhyme #Chucklemums

    1. I know what is it with loo brushes?? Bleughh! I have to leave the shower every few mins to retrieve it from the little one running about the bedrooms with it clutched to him like a prize? Just weird! Thank you lovely x

  27. What do you mean Mummy?
    What is that word?
    I know this is yummy
    And not a dog turd
    Why you say NO?
    Whatever I do?
    Oh wait, it’s not good, have I eaten a POO?

    Nearly happened. Filthy children! #chucklemums

    1. Hahaha – I love that you’ve thought and you’ve taken the time, to write me a comment in fabulous rhyme! It’s lovely to know that the traumas of poo,
      Are not only me!
      You’ve witnessed it too!
      Thanks lovely!! 🙂 xx

  28. That is brilliant.

    All of it true. Little Miss OMG is in the “Into everything stage” I’m starting to regret that we decided not to baby proof the house. Never had the addage no two children are the same been so apt.

    Her brother was happy playing with his toys. Not her.

    #justanotherlinky

    1. I think we’re quite lucky in that his big sister was even more “inquisitive” so there is very little in our house that hasn’t been explored and then subsequently baby proofed (proactive parenting at its best haha). The cutlery drawer was definitely unchartered territory though. I’d moved the knives to the back out of little hands’ reach, but hadn’t really envisaged feet ending up in there? Meh. Thanks for reading. Virtual high five and good luck with Little Miss OMG!

  29. You’ve arrived at #candidcuddles 2017 in style Dawnie! This is perfect! Loved it and giggled (well gagged a bit at the loo brush lol). Eyes in the back of the head may be handy once my preteen becomes a teen and I need to catch any gestures behind my back or snidey looks from women ha ha. Thanks so much for linking up!

  30. Brilliant!! And I love that you’ve joined in at #candidcuddles – Fab you can incorporate your poems with quotes. We may have to set you sons challenges to see what you can come up with! ?

  31. HA! This is brilliant! And so true. Would we want to know every move the kids make? It’d be no fun for anyone then would it? If I could choose extra something I think hands/arms would be much more useful lol Thanks so much for joining us at #candidcuddles with your lovely rhyme & quote xx

    1. Thanks so much for having me at #candidcuddles Becky. I think this is more of an anti-quote but thanks for letting me sneak it in there anyway! I definitely think more hands and possibly an extra brain might be more useful right now. One function and a spare to fill with irrelevant facts about Paw Patrol. And biscuits. 😉 xx

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