family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

The Monster That Lives In The Bin…

Image shows two pine cones and an empty snail shell.

Dear daughter…. I’m sorry to tell you this way,
But a hideous crime was committed today.

You discovered yourself as you went in the bin.
*deep breath*
That a piece of your artwork had somehow got in??

Half in shock, and perplexed as to how it got there!
I was stuck without words, only able to stare!?

I too was distraught and completely bereft,
As we salvaged the dry bits of art that were left.

And your eyes reached to mine for a reason or cause?
I had nothing to offer except ‘awkward pause’.

Just who? I did question, would do such a thing?
To such classical pieces of pasta and string?

A heinous and hideous parenting crime?
The scoundrel found guilty should have to do time!

But I’ve reasoned there’s only one thing it could be!
As I know with conviction that it WAS NOT ME!

It must be “That Monster” I say with a grin.
That mischievous beastie that lives in the bin!

He’s scruffy and grumpy and green like The Grinch,
And he spends his time looking for treasures to pinch!

That thing from your pocket that once was a snail.
Those pine cones you found on The Gruffalo Trail.

Those damp bits of twig and your series of rocks,
That beloved bunny we made out of socks.

He lurks and he sneaks in the dark of the night
And he snaffles the things that are shiny and bright!

Your nursery doodles – exquisitely fine,
Your magnificent series entitled “The Line”.

Each moss covered pebble, old button and leaf,
He pilfers them all, the despicable thief!

And he scampers back home with a mischievous grin,
And he buries them deep in his den in the bin!

That half eaten lolly looked ever so nice,
And you loved it so much that you sneezed on it twice!

Those 48 bottle tops covered with glue..
He knew they were special so snaffled them too!

What a terrible monster he truly must be.
I should feel so ashamed if I thought it was me!

It’s so rude that your loot has been so disregarded,
And all of your treasures so cruelly discarded!

I would stop it from happening. Obviously.
But my hands are quite tied as of course – it’s not me!

To destroy all your treasures?
No way! I would never!
I would love them and stroke them and keep them forever!

It is tragic and sad but that’s just where they go.

And it still wasn’t mummy.

Just so that you know.

…*whistles and slinks off sideways*

This post originally featured on the fabulous Meet Other Mums blog page, for whom I am proud to be a regular blogger.

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And proudly co-hosting:

Rhyming with Wine

60 thoughts on “The Monster That Lives In The Bin…

  1. Brilliant – absolutely brilliant. She will thank you one day when there aren’t 30 boxes of ancient artwork and school books that “the monster” couldn’t pinch. I still have 4 boxes that I can’t throw away because my mum couldn’t throw them away!!

    1. Oh bless your mum! To be fair I literally have nothing from when I was little so I’m generally quite sentimental and have numerous baby books and boxes of first shoes etc. The 7432 pieces of junk modelling (basically the contents of someone’s recycle bin plus glue stick)? Those I can live without! Luckily they seem to be monster’s fave so we’re onto a winner! ? Thanks lovely xx

  2. This is brilliant. I do hold on to everything, then all of a sudden I have to be brutal, otherwise we have to get a bigger house. Thanks for making me laugh, lovely poem. #coolmumclub

  3. This is brilliant Dawn! We have yet to have the bin monster visit us (perhaps because Alfie is our first child and therefore we’ve yet to learn that we don’t need to keep EVERYTHING?!) but as we are due to move house in a few weeks and I haven’t even started packing, we may need to borrow your bin monster for all those masterpieces that he’ll really appreciate….#coolmumclub

    1. Oh I can promise you that the bin monster can be trusted to ramp up his appetite when you’re faced with moving house haha. We move next week and he’s been on a full on rampage! Hope your move goes well lovely. Thank you x

  4. I think we might need to go to http://www.binmonsters.com and order a couple of green bin buddies! I might then be able to find my dining table which after last weeks ‘filing’ episode (80% Tigs underbed storage, 18% Mouses underbed storage, 2% bin) is three foot high again. My kids LOVE to draw…and it’s all far too lovely to throw away! #WereGoingToNeedABiggerBox
    Wonderful as always…thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub

    1. I so just clicked on that link and everything. Half disappointed and half excited to see that it doesn’t exist. Next stop… Dragon’s Den! I can kind of deal with the drawings. They’re flat. It’s the armfuls of junk modelling I’m presented with after nursery. They definitely need some monster action! Good to know that I’m not alone in my struggles lovely! Thanks for hosting x

  5. you had me at the first line, I knew exactly what what you were going to say, I wasn’t expecting a poem, absolutely BRILLIANT.
    My 6 year old comes home from school with Junk Art, yes its a thing, and that thing ALWAYS ends up in my green bin(Irish recycle bin). I give it 2 days then its gone along with the guilt of throwing it out.
    I put the last Junk Art in the the boot of the car last week and its still there, she hasn’t mentioned it, so thats my new go-to-place but alas its joining the every increasing black bags of clothes for the charity shop! #blogcrush

    1. Oh I’m with you! Our nursery loves a bit of junk modelling and ours also end up in the boot. It always looks like a recycle bin has been emptied in there with numerous boxes and yogurt pots strewn around with occasional bits of glue! ? I’m pleased to be in good company. Thanks Vivienne x

  6. How do you do this!!!! You are so talented…AND ACCURATE!!! I’m in the process of moving and I have so much stuff that should go in the can-but I can’t seem to part with it!!! #dreamteam

  7. Hah hah! Brilliant Dawn, I love it. I got rumbled just days ago when I was trying to sort out the paper recycling and my youngest discovered shock horror her drawings in the pile. She was incensed! I had to make out I had no idea how they had got into the recycling bin! Will definitely remember the green monster next time round! #CoolMumClub xx

  8. this is absolutely brilliant!!
    my kids try to hoard all sorts of stuff!! must remember the bin monster next time we need a sort out ?
    #blogcrush

  9. Hahaha brilliant. I have been caught out so many times with this and the guilt stabs like a knife! Horrible! I’ve taken to taking photos of each piece before handing it to the monster (more to ease my conscience than anything else!) but you just can’t keep everything… #blogcrush

  10. I have been caught by my daughter throwing out her artwork too, she was not impressed. Oh the mother’s guilt crushed me that day. #DreamTeam

  11. Your poems always amaze me! I struggle to write coherent sentences since baby brain set in, never mind make them rhyme! Such a talent.
    I can’t really relate to this one yet as my baby is too tiny but it tells such a cute story! Love it.
    #dreamteam

    1. Aww thank you so much! That’s such a lovely comment and very kind. You’ll soon find yourself shuffling through 74 pages of white A4 paper with a single crayon line on choosing which one to frame haha. It’s all good fun xx

  12. Haven’t had any artwork from Little A of course but I do remember my SIL’s fridge covered from top to bottom with with her kids creations, she’d try to call the monster but her son everyday counts the paintings and keeps a watchful eye 😂 #dreamteam

  13. LOL! I love it! I do keep most my little girl’s treasures majority of the time but, man, I could recite this poem every time one of her treasures mysteriously ends up in the bin! #DreamTeam

  14. Another brilliant poem! I wish there was a bin monster in my house… the OH was aghast when he found out their art goes in the recycling. Now I have to ask the kids every time and keep it in a box if they don’t want to chuck it. They’re not even his kids!

  15. That is brill! I have just finished hiding some artwork examples as I am not brave enough for them to head straight to the bin – just in case someone should ask for them in a few days time, but give it a week and that monster will be getting them #dreamteam

  16. Genius poem! How do you do it?! I am a packrat and keep everything for ages but at some point, most things have to go! I usually keep a photo of it though as I am that sentimental #dreamteam

  17. This is so true! I have to hide any random nursery or school ‘artwork’ that I throw away underneath other things so my kids don’t see that ive thrown it away. honestly if it was up to them my house would be piled high with pieces of A4 paper with half a scribble on!! #DreamTeam

  18. Awwww I remember when you first posted this one Dawn. The paper monster still likes to somehow recycle artwork here… and my receipts, blog drafts and important school notes. Yep. The paper monster is NOT me in the Button house. Thanks for being the bestest #DreamTeam host xx

  19. I was quite gutted when my mum gave me all my old school work a few years back – even now I want her to keep it to treasure! But I suppose the hoarder in me loves it!
    I remember my mum told me she made my grandad a clay swan that she was so proud of but it looks so shit he turned it into an ashtray hahaha! #dreamteam

  20. I’m going to steal this idea! I have a collection in the kitchen which every so often (bin day) mysteriously disappears. I have a whole cupboard upstairs of things I can’t bear to get rid of but it’s not possible to keep everything 🙁 #dreamteam

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