family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

Ode to my Tiny Taskmasters…

Dear Offspring. I love you. Of that there’s no doubt.

But you’ve learned a new skill and it’s making me shout.

Along with your new-found vocabulary,

You’ve developed a yearning to need stuff – from me!

I’ve always been there to attend to your needs,

Through all of the teething and endless night feeds.

But now, with the gift of your gorgeous new voice,

Comes volume, demanding, decisions and choice!

Example: For breakfast it’s porridge or toast.

I give you the choice of which one you’d like most.

“Cocoa pops!” “Pancakes!” “A yogurt!” you yell.

“Some raisins!” “A Bagel!” “Blue Smarties as well…!”

You’ve NEVER had lollies at 7am,

But it won’t stop you asking – again and again!

We come home from school, and not yet through the door,

You’re already listing an errand or four.

“I’m hungry.”

“I’m thirsty.”

“I want you to play!”

“This urgent school project needs doing TODAY!”

I race back and forwards, my face turning puce,

I’ve still got my coat on whilst serving you juice!

 

via GIPHY

The second the weight is removed from my feet,

Or my bum seeks the peace of a lavatory seat.

It instantly triggers your reflex of need.

And that thing that you want needs providing at speed!

A small glass of water might be your desire,

But “Urgently!” “Now Mum!” Like something’s on fire!?

I watch you both making up things to call out,

Like you do me a favour each time that you shout?

I’m sure you’re just randomly thinking up stuff,

But I’m calling it now kids – enough is enough!

 

via GIPHY

 

You work it with cute, and might stretch to polite,

But dictating with dimples is still not alright!

You think you’re entitled, because you’ve said “peeeaase”.

But keep it real kiddos – I’m down on my knees!

Just stop bloody wanting stuff all of the time!

If there’s wants to be had then believe me THEY’RE MINE!

– A decent night’s sleep and a hot cup of tea.

-A trip to the toilet in solitary!

-To have you get dressed just as soon as it’s said.

-And not have you answer “But Mummy…” instead!

-To simply say “shoes” and your shoes to go on,

-For “ONE…TWO…THREE…” countdowns to nail it on “ONE“!

-A hassle-free school run would be kind of great,

-With no need for yelling “We’re going to be late!

But I don’t just stand there demanding from you!!

….Oh wait. Just a second.

….. Maybe I do?

The apple does not fall too far from the tree.

Monkey see, monkey do – apparently?

I don’t call out snacks. (Though I secretly would!)

My manners are generally thought to be good?

But the things I demand must seem random to you,

As I yell ‘HURRY UP!” With my face turning blue.

 

via GIPHY

I think there’s a lesson for me here somewhere.

A pattern to challenge perhaps, if I dare?

So maybe it’s time that we called this a truce.

You put your shoes on.

I’ll get the juice.

I’ll try to Mum-up with a bit more respect,

And suck up my own mantra:

Β “I want” doesn’t get!

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83 thoughts on “Ode to my Tiny Taskmasters…

  1. Fab rhyme as always.my work colleague always says you’ve got nothing to loose by asking, so maybe that lolly at 7am may happen 😊 #dreamteam

  2. Brilliant, as always! Recently, my kids have started just saying things like “I’m bored” or “I’m hungry” which really winds me up as it just comes across as complaining – we’re trying to train them to think proactively instead and say “Please will you read this book with me” or “please can I have a drink” but it’s not really working… But I think you’re right – the way that we say stuff to them has a big impact on what (and how) they say stuff to us. Food for thought πŸ™‚ #dreamteam

    1. I can see such a huge difference in my two depending how harassed I’m feeling on any given day. I love the idea of encouraging more of a proactive request. Our littlest could win awards for his whining. It drives me potty! I think I’ll try this technique – Thank you! x

  3. I always knew kids were demanding, but now this has shown me a glimpse of what’s to come! My little boy has only just learnt how to speak short sentences, so I haven’t had all these ‘needs’ thrown at me yet. I think I’m going to seriously have to sit down with a glass of wine or two every night when this happens! #DreamTeam

    1. Oh yes yes. Wine is well deserved by 7pm. It’s a bit of a double edged sword really. It’s a relief when they can finally tell you what they want rather than us having to guess, but then the scales can so easily tip in the opposite direction and they become tiny dictators! πŸ™ˆ Sending cake Nita. It helps πŸ˜‰ xx

  4. Do you have some kind of camera installed in our house?! This is so funny and completely true. But one day, hopefully, they’ll have kids of their own and payback will come …

  5. It has started in our household already – “I need it” is a new phrase…. including medicine he definitely doesn’t need hahaha! Why did I think three boys under 2 was a good idea??? eek! #dreamteam

  6. Oh this is fantastic! LOVE it. And it’s so true – us mums demand the kids get ready and then wonder why on earth they won’t do as we say or demand they get that juice! Great. xxx
    #DreamTeam

  7. HAHHAHAHA, oh my this is great. You rhyme so gorgous, telling a funny tale. I dont know how you do it. It made me laugh and nod my head in agreement the whole post! I feel ya mumma! #dreamteam

  8. You’ve totally nailed it Dawn! It’s exactly like this haha. The lollies for breakfast sound so funny – we’ve not had that yet. But with the wants ramping up, who knows where it will end πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚ #dreamteam xx

  9. Oh wow! As I was reading this I was nodding right along, yup. Happens in my house all the time! The demands, oh my goodness! But I love how you turned it around and looked at your demands from their perspective. I try to be mindful and respectful of my kids but I have never looked at from their view. I love it! #DreamTeam

    1. Oh hon I feel your pain! My 3 year old gets so annoyed when I don’t understand him. You can imagine how long it took me to realise that he was randomly wanting to chat about “Despicable Me 3” last week can’t you? πŸ™Š xx

  10. Just popping back because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Hurray!

    The constant demands really are never-ending aren’t they! I think it’s hard because they can only see their immediate needs – they don’t see that I can’t dig out the Christmas tree right now (in February!) because I’m in the middle of cooking tea for them! It can be frustrating because we feel like we’re doing something for them but they start nagging about wanting something else. Aaargh! But we love them anyway πŸ™‚ #blogcrush

    1. … and once more just in case. πŸ™ˆ I swear mine asked me “What we doin in mornin?” 7 times this evening. Consecutively. I answered him 7 times. Then I realised that he was clearly not receiving and in transmit only mode! πŸ˜‚ x

  11. Your gif game is strong! (A lot like my bum burps this evening πŸ’¨) like you I also seek the solitary of the lav but we a heavy heart we know the realities of our situation – maybe we can trade them at Cash Converters? #NegaviteEquity

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