family · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

Ms Judgy McJudgepants (Cat’s Bumface for short )
A self righteous person and critical sort.

Will remark on the things that you do through the day.
Whilst not giving a toot if it’s not kind to say.

She will cast her aspersions, dismiss and abuse,
Without walking an inch in another mum’s shoes.

Bottle -V- Breast.
Out to work / Stay at home.
She has all the opinions and makes sure they’re known.

She knows all of the things about parenting life.
And she spits disapproval as sharp as a knife.

She might not be intending to wound with each cut,
She’s can’t see the harm done by her throwaway ‘tut’.

She just ‘knows’ that her way is the only way how.
Quite naive that she’s being a judgemental cow.

She’s an expert on HER child, but HER CHILD alone.
From her house made of glass all her pebbles are thrown.

She’s forgotten the struggles, but tuts anyway.
As she forms verbal missiles and sends them your way.

You can try to take cover, pretend not to care,
But Judgy McJudgepants will always be there.

So the bullets you catch – Put them straight in the bin.
Try to channel your own inner “Judgepants” within.

That confident mum, that knows her baby best.
Makes considered decisions despite all the rest.

But… Who knows that her baby, is her expertise
Which does not make her ‘Expert Of All’ thank-you please.

She knows tuts are harmful, no matter how small.
That the kind thing to do is say nothing at all.

To be there with advice if required and when tasked.
To support without judgement whenever she’s asked.

And to know that what’s needed beyond all above,
Is a warm friendly smile,

And a fellow mum’s  love.

This poem was inspired by a powerful piece by one of my favourite bloggers, actually the first blogger I ever “chatted” to after hitting publish for the very first time.  Her blog is It’s Good to Be Crazy Sometimes and you can read her post here.

Judgement is rife in parenthood.  We’ve all been on the receiving end, and I think that a lot of us have been guilty of delivering it ourselves at times too.  I would quite like to go back and slap my pre-child self for some of the misguided comments I made about bringing up children.  Because obviously I was an expert on kids – I mean I’d been one once? How difficult could this parenthood lark be?

I know.  A slap is fully called for.

This is my apology.

x

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86 thoughts on “Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

  1. Dawn, this is great! And oh so true. When I’m around parents, I keep my trap shut – and that includes tuts and eyerolls and those tight little smiles (I’m sure you know the ones I’m talking about)! Parenting is hard enough without “friends” adding to the stress.

    1. I know exactly the ones. It’s so easy to pass an opinion without realising how much it can make someone else question and doubt themselves. Parenting has enough challenges without fending off the ‘tuts’. Thank you Jean x

  2. Ha! Brilliant and right on the money! But I wouldn’t be friends with McJudgepants because she probably won’t let me eat chocolate cake in public anyway.

  3. You’re so right, judgement is behind every single parenting decision you make. Supporting each other and knowing that actually we know best for our babies and our families is the way forward. #DreamTeam

  4. Yeah, my wife always says that, that she was an expert on kids until she had them. She is a social worker you see!! Could this be called Judging Judging McJudgepants? Tee hee! #DreamTeam

  5. I had more than my fair share of Judgey McJudgepants around when I had my first baby. I stuck to my guns when they told me what I was doing wrong but it did bother me.
    These days the same people like to ‘advise’ about my weight, health, mental health and all sorts of other things. Im far better now at letting it go over my head 😁
    #dreamteam

  6. I must admit, shamefacedly, that I also sported Judgey McJudgepants before I had kids. Now I have kids, the pants are bigger but less judgey! #DreamTeam

  7. This must have been the mum that called the police while my eldest had a tantrum a couple of years ago. Yes you have read that right. It’s on the blog (November 2016 I think). I am so very careful about sharing my views because everyone’s parenting journey is different. #dreamteam

  8. I can completely relate, it’s so easy to judge other parents when you’re not a parent yourself, I was that person too and now that I am in the thick of it all I can’t believe I was like that at all! Thanks for sharing and of course for being honest xx #DreamTeam

    Soffy // themumaffairs.blogspot.com

  9. There are so many about. Soft plays are the worst for judgement I find. Love the ‘Cat’s bumface’ and I will be thinking that next time I come across a judgy mummy #dreamteam

  10. This is oh so true and so ridiculous! I don’t know when this trend started or if it’s been around since the dawn of time, but it’s ridiculous! It’s always strangers who feel the need to give you their nasty opinion, judge you, shame you, and think it’s okay. I wish people would think before speaking, but I fear it’s a lost cause!
    #dreamteam

  11. I love this! I really wish I could go back and have a quiet word with my pre-baby self. You have no idea what is in store for you as a parent until you become one. It is the most magical and fantastic thing you’ll ever do but boy is it hard. I too said silly throw away comments without actually knowing ANYTHING about it! Oh well you certainly live and learn!

  12. So many judgemental people out there wanting to comment on how you should or shouldn’t raise your child. I try not to take comments to heart but they do creep through! I don’t think you ever get how hard parenting is going to be until you are one! #dreamteam

  13. Clever words as always. Interesting too. How easily we will judge the judgmental perhaps not walking in their shoes and the reason they feel a need to judge. I am not having a go but as someone who worked in the charity sector where non-judgemental was so often a key principle, judgement is something I have thought about a lot. #DreamTeam

  14. The only place I allow myself to judge is in the doctors waiting room. It’s not okay for kids to be jumping off the chairs and throwing water around and shouting. Especially when I am stressed out trying to keep my bored kids entertained and having to sing ‘old Macdonald had a pig’ in a very packed waiting room. Apart from that each to their own! Great poem as always Dawn.

  15. I absolutely love this, will be sharing it in a minute. It is so true, I wish I wasn’t judgemental, but we can’t help it sometimes! Its what Friday nights with your besties are for!!!

    1. Thank you Nicole. This parenting game is really easy to do… for an hour or so. When it’s 24/7 365 it’s a whole different thing. It’s so easy but actually impossible to judge another person’s way of doing things. We never really know what that mum has going on as you say. xx

  16. You had me at ‘cats bumface’ Dawn! 😂 As someone who’s been on the receiving end of a fair few judgeypants – it’s definitely not nice and can be so harmful- especially to new mums. This is such a fab rhyme and hopefully it gets into the right hands and they take note. Thanks for being a brilliant #dreamteam host xx

  17. Why do parents do that to other parents. We all have different parenting styles and doing our best. Could those who are passing judgment and think that they are all that – just stop – rather offer support and encouragement. #dreamteam

  18. Genius! I know quite a few of these folk, who judge so very well. Oh to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes… And, you make it rhyme too. Wow. You amaze me! M’wah! #dreamteam xoxo

  19. It’s so true – you have no idea how hard parenting is until you’re in that position and, as you say, every child is different anyway so just because something works for your kid, doesn’t mean it will work for everyone else. That’s something I’ve noticed, having 2 children of my own.

    And congratulations because you’ve been blogcrushed again! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

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