I’ve answered to Mum now for more than 3 years,
I’ve cherished the good times and learned from the tears.
But even at this point between me and you,
there are still certain things that I just cannot do.
Not for my life can I get through a door,
with pushchair, without a huge fuss anymore.
My shoving and wrangling is never enough.
I enter dishevelled and quite out of puff.
No end of “Vanish” or “doing my best”
Will ever get carrot stains out of a vest.
And nor (so it seems) can I clean a highchair,
there’ll always be one random raisin in there?
I can’t “Put in car seat” without “Bumping head”.
Or even “Strap in”, they just roam free instead…? (Epic fail!)
And though I keep checking as I go along,
the press studs on onesies just ALWAYS GO WRONG!?
So there. I confess. There are things I can’t do!
But motherhood gives me a talent or two…
I can change a tot’s nappy with minimal fuss.
(Although it’s like wrestling a wild octopus.)
With perfect composure I’m totally calm
Whilst wedging my infant in place with one arm.
I can bottom the housework in less than an hour,
whilst brushing my teeth as I stand in the shower.
I can issue instructions whilst sat on the loo,
(perhaps also snaffling a biscuit or two?)
With no sporting skill I can somehow catch vomit?
For this my reactions are quick as a comet*
My make up routine is no less than pure art.
A bobble, a wipe and I’m done in a… jiffy.
I eat with one hand with a spoon in the other,
whilst dishing out food to Miss Tot and her brother.
So many skills found through being a mum,
And so much to learn in the years still to come.
But whatever my failings at least I know this…
I can make it all better with one “mummy kiss”.
*Thank you to the lovely Gemma at Colley’s Wobbles for this one! Vomit and comet? Who’d have thought it? ;0)
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