family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Supermum. (A Parody of Julia Donaldon’s Superworm).

It no secret that I am a huge fan / bordering on groupie of Julia Donaldson and her incredible children’s books.  They say that imitation is the ultimate form of flattery, which makes me very complimentary indeed as Supermum (A Parody of “Superworm”) is now my third parody of her work.  I also need to mention two of my lovely bloggy friends in this post as they have both recently written brilliant pieces on this very topic, both of which combined inspired this one for me.  Please do pop by and read these posts by Five Little Doves & Pink Pear Bear too.  They both deserve a world of #bloglove!

 

Supermum!

Supermum is super strong.
Supermum can do no wrong.
See her kids explode with fun!
Hip Hip Hooray for Supermum!

Help! Disaster! Baby Jack is shrieking that he wants a snack?
Quick he’s acting like a brat!
… But photoshop can deal with that.

The kids are feeling bored today.
They trash the house and call it “play”.
WTF? That won’t look right?
DISGUISE THAT CARNAGE OUT OF SIGHT!

Little Lucy’s quite unwell.
She’s not herself, but who can tell?
Not to panic. Fear no snot!
We’ll edit that bit out of shot!

Then followers all stop to read,
And feast upon their Insta-feed.
Friends and neighbours, Judgy Aunt,
Clap and cheer and chant this chant:

“Supermum is super strong.
Supermum can do no wrong.
Watch her kids explode with fun!
Hip Hip Hooray for Supermum!”

The “likes” are duly notified,
And Supermum is filled with pride.
Her quest for Perfect has no end.
“My Photo-wizard is my friend!
Without it life is dull and flat?
And no-one wants to follow that!
They’d all let out a frightful shriek
To see a snap so drab and bleak?!”

The Wizard casts its magic power,
And adds a sparkle, tint or flower.

“Now Supermum – you must not fail!
You need to share the fairy-tale!”

Supermum is sometimes cross,
To have perfection as her boss.
But when she tries to keep it real,
Her Insta-snaps have less appeal?

For years she edits to impress,
Her perfect crafts with zero mess.
But all she finds with each proud thrill,
Is pressure to be better still.

The Wizard tells a perfect tale,
And hides each spill, each smudge, each fail.
The truth could make her vulnerable?
The judgement would be palpable!

The kids are raging through the night.
Mum’s hair’s a mess.
She looks a fright.
She lost her sh!t at 2am.
At 4 it was misplaced again.

Next day both kids are still at war.
Their breakfast ends up on the floor.

Image shows a kitchen table and chair with milk and cereal spilled all over and dripping off the chair.

Today she doesn’t want to pose.
She’s done with filters tinted rose.

She shares a picture.
Filter: OFF.

And waits for trolls to cruelly scoff.

…Her followers don’t mock or jeer.
To see a picture so sincere.
They’re not so sure just what to feel,
To see their hero keep it real?

But each of them can so relate,
To such a kitchen, in THAT state.

They click and share and like the post.
In fact they like this one the most.

They know exactly what to do…
They share a “real life” picture too!

They add a comment. Send a flower ‘?’,
And rid The Wizard of his power.

The Worldwide Web is strong and tough.
Together we’re all strong enough.

They lift the mum. Her spirits soar.
She feels like Supermum once more!

We broke Perfection’s cruel spell.
At last we can be real as well!

And now we share the highs and lows.
The tantrums, crumbs, the constant “NO”s.

SUPERMUMS: The mums of tots!
The wipers up of all the snots!
The baby wipes! The carrot stains!
The toddlers planking on their reins!
The kissers of the fallen knees!
The “Did someone say cake? YES PLEASE!”

Then followers all stop to read,
And feast upon their Insta-feed.
Friends and neighbours, Judgy Aunt,
Clap and cheer and chant this chant:

“Supermums are superstrong!
Supermums can do no wrong!
See our kids explode with fun!
Hip Hip Hurray for every mum!”

Dedicated to all of the Supermums.

With love from a Supermum.

 x

Image shows me holding my little boy with him going to pick his nose and too much sunlight dazzling the picture.
Sometimes you capture an adorable selfie in the sunshine. Sometimes the lighting is awful and your little human would prefer to explore his left nostril. #nofilter.

Psst:  If you liked this how’s about “My Womb is a Squash and a Squeeze” or “The Snail and The Fail“?

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143 thoughts on “Supermum. (A Parody of Julia Donaldon’s Superworm).

  1. Love, love, love this!!! I have a post sitting in my drafts about how much I hate Instagram (don’t hate me, I know we have our own hashtag!!). But there’s nothing that a Clarendon filter can’t fix, right?!

  2. Your poems are proper stories! Loved it. I chuckled out loud in several places especially -‘she lost her sh!t at 2am.
    At 4 it was misplaced again.’ So many fab lines! Lovely lovely photos ( well not quite so much the breakfast redecoration!). Super Mums are ready and fuelled…..by cake and other legal substances such as wine and hob nobs!!! xx

  3. Super work is one of my favourite kids books at the moment, and this parody is nothing short of hilarious, as well as being totally true! I’ve been having a bit of a “likes have taken a dip” Insta crisis this weekend. But it’s not a crisis is it, really?! My feet are firmly back on he ground, thank you!!! #DreamTeam

  4. I LOVE this – I think I need to check out this Julia Donaldson’s work! Personally, the imperfect pictures that people share on social media and their blogs are often my favourites – they’re a reminder that I’m not the only one whose child has tantrums and whose house looks like a tip. #DreamTeam

    1. I remember the very first ‘honest’ blog post I ever read amongst a sea of perfect parenting online guides and baby books. It was like an epiphany! Definitely check out the JD books. They’re brilliant. Room on The Broom and The Gruffalo are probably our faves. I just daren’t take them on as a parody! 😉 x

  5. SUPERMUMS: The mums of tots!
    The wipers up of all the snots!
    The baby wipes! The carrot stains!
    The toddlers planking on their reins!
    The kissers of the fallen knees!
    The “Did someone say cake? YES PLEASE!”

    I think this is my favourite bit… I am definitely a snot rag right now with my twin snot monsters…

  6. We want to break perfections curse too. It seems that we are surrounded by supermums and there pinworthy pictures of family bliss. Thanks for keeping it real x #DreamTeam x

  7. Ah this is so on the money. I love seeing the curated shots people share because they are pretty, but I always, always remember that there is a real life behind that picture. Because kids are kids and are grubby, feral little darlings whatever you do to them! #DreamTeam

  8. Every time I read your poems I think this is my favourite one yet, and wonder how you will ever better the last, and yet you do – each and every time! This is fantastic, and made me laugh out loud! #dreamteam

  9. #dreamteam i read this and thought – bloody hell its exhausting being a mum. haha…luckily i read it in bed and you’re right editing on IG is editing life and truth.

  10. That was a real journey 🙂 I hate perfect insta pictures, I want to see normality. Otherwise I wonder what I’m not doing right! ha!
    You are very cleaver, I always enjoy reading your poems
    #dreamteam

  11. Awesome…and so true! I filmed my first video the other day and it was ridiculous the trouble I went to to make sure everything in shot looked great. What the viewer didn’t see was my notes taped to the table in front of me, my camera balanced on 25 DVDs and my dressing table covered in crap! #Dreamteam

  12. I think many of my posts reflect my messy maison. Take my post on cards they are on the floor! or my yoghurt one is badly papped! Best get outside in the beautiful world of nature. #DreamTeam

  13. This is awesome, LOVE it! We’ve all been there, trying to get that *perfect* photo, editing the cr*p out of every shot. Life really is too short. And, we all know it’s not the whole truth 🙂 #Prose4T

  14. Well this is chuffing marvellous. I love the speed and the giggles of it, and I am really looking forward to seeing you rapping it in a messy kitchen while child-wrangling in a YouTube video, because that is going to happen. Right?

  15. love this, today mid conversation (a serious one at that) with hubby, Ben shoved his hand in my mouth and kept scratching my tongue… This makes me feel like a supermum due to the fact that I was still able to talk and hubby has to be a super dad forunderstanding what I said!!! (maybe our conversations whilst teeth cleaning prepared us for this part of parenthood hahaha! #dreamteam

  16. Love it!!!!! Said it before and will say it again, you are super talented! Read both of the other posts and whole heartedly agreed. My insta stories and Facebook is where i keep it real. My main Insta feed is just to keep up with everyone else!! #DreamTeam

  17. I was actually so close to tears reading this! I’ve joined Instagram yesterday and, having never much bothered about the social media pressure to be perfect, I totally freaked out! I know my photos are never going to be as perfect as everyone else’s and it really got to me. I suddenly started questioning if we did enough fun things as a family, and if our lives were boring compared to everyone else. I guess your post just hit right to the heart of the matter, just at the right time. As a terrible perfectionist, this line was very poignant: “But all she finds with each proud thrill, / Is pressure to be better still.”

    A fab piece of writing, as always, and one that really struck a chord with me. #blogcrush

    1. Oh Lucy I’m so pleased that you enjoyed this and hope it maybe helped a little? I’m still fairly new to Instagram too and it is so easy to get swept away with the pressure to create perfection. It can feel like we’re scrolling through a fairy tale, and I’m a sucker for an Amaro filter! I just think it helps to know that behind the filters we’re all hiding piles of mouldy bath toys and baby wiped kitchen sides. 😉 I’ll come and find you on IG. Thanks for hosting and for your lovely comment xxx

  18. Oh darling SuperWorm is one of our absolute faves and I was crying with laughter at what you have done with this! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub xoxo

  19. Oh I could cry.
    THE
    BEST
    YET
    Not only is SW one of my FAVE JD books (only closely pipped to the post by The singing Mermaid), it will forever be one of my all time precious Mum memories seeing a one year old Tigs be able to recite the book by heart. We have videos to prove this.
    But, your version is even better. A classic RWW forevermore.

  20. I love it! I thought for a minute that I had slipped out of my Supermum status as I rarely edit my photos to perfection, but no you’re turn around at the end is brilliant…hooray for real Supermums!
    #BlogCrush

  21. Bloody loved this! You are hilarious and have the best way with words! Forget julia donaldson you are amazIng in your own right (well dont actually forget her because we bloody lover her too!) #BlogCrush

  22. Love love LOVE! I’ve not read Superworm but don’t think I will as now as there’s no way it can be better than this Supermum version!xx #BlogCrush

  23. This rhyme is so fab because it’s just so true!! Brilliant poetry and so funny, real and entertaining. I’ve just stumbled across your blog and I can’t stop reading. Need to go and feed my 2 year old but want to keep reading!
    Debbie x

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