Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Battle Of The Broccoli (By a 3 year old.)

My mum has a brand new obsession of late. With piling some green nonsense onto my plate. She must be confused or not right in the head? As it’s none of the three food-groups: cheese, jam or bread? She’s attempted the usual tactics of course, Like blending the stuff up and calling it “sauce”. But… Continue reading The Battle Of The Broccoli (By a 3 year old.)

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Stopping By The House On A Mummy’s Evening. (A Parody.)

One of the first ‘grown up’ poems I ever read as a child was Stopping By The Woods On A Snowy By Robert Frost.  I was 9 years old and our teacher had set us all the challenge of learning it off by heart to recite in front of the class.  It must have had… Continue reading Stopping By The House On A Mummy’s Evening. (A Parody.)

Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

I’d Love To Make Friends Like A Toddler…

I’d love to make friends like a toddler. I’m not short of a mum friend or two, But I’m starting to feel quite inspired By my tots and the way that they do… So, I’d rock up to playgroup as normal. Drop my jacket and puff out my chest. Scan the church-hall savanna before me,… Continue reading I’d Love To Make Friends Like A Toddler…

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Doing Holidays With The Small Humans…

Remember your holidays just as a two? The blissful idea of nothing to do? The sleepy siestas and cocktails at noon, As you bathed in the sun to a tropical tune? The crisp hotel sheets and delicious menus, Relaxed pace of life and spectacular views? All of those things that once floated your boat… …… Continue reading Doing Holidays With The Small Humans…

family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

Dear Person at Ikea…

A heartfelt letter to the “Smidiot” at Ikea who designed their multi-coloured packs of plastic plates and dishes: Dear Person at Ikea. With your very clever brain. Your packs of plastic toddler plates are driving me insane. “Let’s make them like a rainbow!” You announced to everyone. “Each plate a different colour! Let’s do that!… Continue reading Dear Person at Ikea…

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

A Toddlers Guide To Moving House.

By Rhyming with Wine Gums aged 4 3/4  And introducing Rhyming with Midget Gems aged 2 3/4. Now and then our grown ups get these things called “itchy feet”. But rather than just scratching them – they choose to change their street. They get this sudden feeling that the place we know as home, No… Continue reading A Toddlers Guide To Moving House.

family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

The Monster That Lives In The Bin…

Dear daughter…. I’m sorry to tell you this way, But a hideous crime was committed today. You discovered yourself as you went in the bin. *deep breath* That a piece of your artwork had somehow got in?? Half in shock, and perplexed as to how it got there! I was stuck without words, only able… Continue reading The Monster That Lives In The Bin…

Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Time According To Toddlers.

A Toddler is a tricky beast at things concerning time. Their lack of punctuality is basically a crime. The concept of “a hurry” will fall mostly on deaf ears. And waiting for five minutes will feel more like twenty years. In general our small people don’t grasp time or what it’s for. So when it… Continue reading The Time According To Toddlers.