family · Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

A Visit to Santa… (With Author’s Commentary.)

T’was a magical Christmassy evening,

Actually T’was a Thursday at 2pm.  All the evening slots were booked up because “Daddy Pig” didn’t get his finger out and book it in time, which of course wasn’t my fault in any way.  But “afternoon” has too many syllables so anyway…

In a snow-sprinkled forest we stood.

As our eyes met a world of enchantment,

And a mystical hut made of wood.

Image shows a boy and a girl surrounded by giant red toadstools in a wood pressing a doorbell in a tree.

 

All nestled around was a village,

Filled with tiny log houses and elves,

Lit by candle and filled with soft singing,

As their hand whittled gifts filled the shelves.

Image shows a small boy peering into a miniature festive decorated lodge.

 

The street lamps each glowed different colours,

As we tiptoed past reindeer that slept,

Slept / lined up in their stables singing “Rockin around the Christmas Tree”.  As reindeer do.

Image shows a line of large toy reindeer peering out of a stable with jolly faces.

Two jolly green elf-folk came forward,

And so into the workshop we crept.

Both tots were clinging on to my legs at this point while I shuffled / dragged them in so that the jolly elves could check in the people behind us.

 

The warm scent of pine and more carols,

Were waiting to greet us inside,

The tots, open mouthed with such wonder,

Slowly took in the magic wide-eyed.

 

They gasped with pure elf adoration,

As a thousand lights twinkled and shone,

Partly wanting to stay there forever,

As together we all shuffled on.

The Girl had bolted past all of the exhibits with blatant disregard for elf etiquette, hell bent on sniffing out The Big Man.  The Boy meanwhile was still standing next to the first swinging elf, dedicating his attention entirely to what was occurring up his left nostril.

 

Many elves were at work at their stations,

Making teddies and hand-painted toys,

And carefully reading the letters,

They’d received from the good Girls and Boys.

Well they mostly just seemed to be swinging about backwards and forwards on bits of tinsel and not really doing much of anything.  I’m not entirely convinced at how efficient this is in the work place but I’m happy to give it a whirl when I’m back in the office?

 

The children were filled with such wonder,

As their eyes filled with joy from the scenes,

Each one desperate to learn this new story,

And to work out what Christmastime means.

“I’m not entirely sure why there is a windmill of dismembered elf arms holding gifts.  Yes the elves are fine.  No the elves aren’t attached to the arms.  No there aren’t any elves with no arms now.  it’s only pretend.  No the other elves aren’t pretend.  Just the weird elf-arm-windmill thing.  Ooh look!  Some tinsel!”

Image shows a young girl peering into a small christmassy log cabin in a forest surrounded by snow.

 

But just then our small family was beckoned,

An elf helper named Giggles appeared,

We excitedly huddled together,

And then into a new room were steered.

Daddy Pig and I grabbed a tot each and lovingly shoved them into “Santa’s living room”

 

Each enthralled by the fire and the stockings,

The warm light and his chair made of oak,

Inner monologue – to the tots:  “Please don’t cry, please don’t cry, please don’t cry.”

Held our breath at the wonder before us,

And fell silent as Santa Claus spoke.

Inner monologue – to self: “Oh bugger, DO NOT CRY, suck it up woman you’re nearly 40!”

 

He knew both tots by name without asking,

And he beckoned them both to a seat,

So they each took their place at the fireside,

As they perched on a stool at his feet.

The boy decided to sit with his back to him.  The girl compromised and sat sideways on but stared at the floor the entire time.

 

Overwhelmed by his jolly red presence,

and his whiskery fluffy white beard,

But his friendly expression convinced them,

That their new friend was not to be feared.

Although eye contact should apparently still be avoided at all cost.

 

So the children explained what they wished for.

Having repeatedly reminded The Girl to say “please” beforehand, she blurted out “PLEASE A FAST CAR!”  The boy just nodded silently in response to everything but I suggested that perhaps he might be getting a like a scooter for Christmas.  Santa asks him if this is correct.  He continues to nod.  He has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on but it seems that nodding seems to amuse the grown ups so he’s going with that.  He is considering whether there might be anything new happening up his left nostril. 

And he checked to make sure they’d been good,

Inner monologue: Well there was the Code Brown situation a few weeks ago, and then there was The Chocolate Shop Incident that we try not to speak about.  Probably best we don’t go into that here though?  

“Yes Santa.  Very good.”

As the magic of Christmas was promised,

To them each in that lodge made of wood.

 

Then they left, clutching coins made of chocolate,

And a gift they could treasure and keep,

The Girl got a lovely jewellery box with notebook and pencils which locks with a key because The Boy is a pest and Santa knew this and wanted to make sure that he couldn’t get into it.  The Boy got a wooden puzzle.  The boy loved it and immediately lost 3 pieces without actually unwrapping it.

With a new sense of anticipation,

For the presents he’ll bring while they sleep.

“No.  Santa isn’t coming tonight.  No not tomorrow either.  It’s a lot of sleeps.  Well about 25.  No not on Tuesday.  Yes 25 is a big number.  No not tonight.  Ooh look!  Some tinsel!”

 

With a sparkly bounce in each footstep,

As the countdown to Christmastime starts,

They’ll now treasure the magical memories,

With a twinkle of joy in their hearts.

“No.  Santa isn’t coming tonight.  No not tomorrow either.  It’s a lot of sleeps.  Well about 25.  No not on Tuesday.  Yes 25 is a big number.  No not tonight.  Ooh look!  Some tinsel!”

Image shows a pathway through a forest with the trees either side lit up and twinkling and a glow in the night sky.

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93 thoughts on “A Visit to Santa… (With Author’s Commentary.)

  1. I love reading your rhymes! This one was quite funny, what with the commentary. I think I’m just going to subscribe to your site because every time I think to myself that I should read what new stuff you have, I have to play guess-and-check on all my social media to try to find you!
    Jaclyn Bree recently posted…Yarn Ball Christmas PuffsMy Profile

  2. Hehe! I need Santa to hurry up too, there’s only so many times I can distract the girls with chocolate and tinsel. Well done for it bringing up the code brown and chocolate shop incidents, that must have taken lots of mummy will power! This place looks amazing!
    #BigPinkLink

    1. I did have an overwhelming urge to shout “That one managed to poo on every surface of my house and this one shoved her face into a chocolate fountain last month!” I did manage to restrain myself though. Only just. 🙊😂 Santa’s face would have been a picture though! Thanks hon x

  3. Only dawn could pull off a visiting Santa Rhyme! Love that little lady wanted a fast car, and so polite too…
    #dreamteam (Yeah I know – so punctual I’m actually a day early. #skills)
    MMT recently posted…School RunningsMy Profile

  4. Oh the stress of Christmas with little ones – that never ending stream of: no, not yet and Santa won’t come if you are naughty. By Christmas Day you just want to hide under the duvet! It sounds as if you are surviving – just! Hang on in there, only 11 more sleeps 🙂 Alison x #DreamTeam
    Alison (MadHouseMum) recently posted…NakedMy Profile

  5. Brilliant, I really enjoyed having a read of that, the commentary was highly amusing. I love that you were inwardly begging them not to cry, I remember doing the same when my two were little. Only 12 more sleeps to go, hang in there dear 😉 #DreamTeam x

  6. #DreamTeam Hahaha!! Absolutely LOVE this post!!! So funny, true and relatable! Love your work as always. Well done on distracting from the elf arms! I am also struggling with the ‘is it Christmas yet?’ question. I shall try distracting with tinsel 😉
    Have a lovely Christmas xx

    1. That’s quite a lot of asking isn’t it? Have you tried throwing in a totally random answer? Just to see if they’re listening? I have. It went straight over their heads. I’ve gone back to distracting with tinsel. 😉 Thank you hon x

  7. Aww this has made my day. Giggles a plenty. We went at the weekend too. Love the excitement of it all. Pops asked last week, “Father Christmas is pretend isn’t he? He can pull his beard off and thats not right!” I had to tell her that he must have been a helper as it’s hard for santa to get everywhere. Thankfully the one we went to see looked pretty good.
    #DreamTeam
    Helen @Talking_Mums recently posted…5 Moments of Happiness: Week SevenMy Profile

    1. It’s a minefield isn’t it? Our eldest announced to another elf at a garden centre the other day that she didn’t want to see the Santa there thank you as she had already seen the real one. Watching the elf squirm and cover it up was fun – although I did cringe! Thank you lovely x

  8. always just love your poems – and this has the added brilliance of the running commentary – inspired and so funny! Beautiful pictures too – I feel so Christmassy! Oo look definitely tinsel time! #DreamTeam

  9. Imagine if your little ones did end up giving Santa a chocolate log!!! Hahaha oh god! Can you tell I’ve not experienced a child pooing in public yet. In about a year I’ll have a different comment!
    #dreamteam

  10. LOVE this post. Fabulous festive, witty and brilliantly written as always Dawn! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub and wishing you a fab Christmas hon xxx

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