The offspring and I are so lucky,
As The Daddy is truly the best,
And he looks after both of the offspring
When I pop into work for a rest.
But our days with the kids are quite different,
Despite the same parenting views,
You can tell when it’s “Mummy’s at work day”.
By observing these few subtle clues…
1) The Daddy – in charge of small offspring,
Shall instinctively head to The Park.
Where he tends to avoid conversation,
Preferring to circle – like shark.
2) The daughter, looks quite like a fraggle,
And shows off her “hair don’t” with pride.
There could be some vague trace of brushing,
And a half arsed attempt with a slide?
3) The offspring, on closer inspection,
Appear quite haphazardly dressed?
With scant care for coordination.
And a general distinct lack of vest.
4) The Daddy Day breakfast agenda:
* Breakfast shall always be toast.
* Porridge is “too much commitment”.
* Just butter. One slice at the most.
5) Their nourishing meal in the evening,
Will mostly be sourced from a tin.
With some sort of bean connotation,
And be scored as a #DaddyDayWin
6) All toys shall be Lego or Play-Doh,
Or some sort of den building game.
But not ever painting or sticking!
“Encouraging mess is insane!”
7) The nappy bag – stocked at the outset,
Shall promptly be left on the floor.
As “Daddies don’t need all this nonsense”
And “What the hell’s all this crap for?”
8) The grandparents tend to be called on,
Where Daddy will mostly get fed.
They might take the kids in the garden.
Leaving Dad to watch telly instead.
9) All Daddy Day chores shall be missions.
And listed with pride at The Mum.
To ensure that she notes his achievements,
And respects how much housework he’s done!
*puffs chest out and points at dishwasher*
As soon as my home time approaches,
The Daddy calls out “Mummy’s here!”
By this point he’s slightly disheveled, and itching to reach for a beer.
10) The children are shattered but happy
And just the correct side of wired,
Completely contented and grubby,
And perfectly “Daddy Day” tired.
The Tots are excited to see me,
To regale the adventures they’ve had,
And their eyes have that warm special sparkle,
That just comes from a day with their Dad.