family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.

Hi. I am Dudley.

I’m Dudley The Dog.
I’m awarded with glee to your well behaved sprog.

I’ll be thrust in your face with a giddy, proud squeak,
As the teacher explains about “Star of The Week”.

You may find yourself torn between absolute pride,
And distrust Β for the guest that has thus been supplied.

As you peer in my bag and gasp “Ooh what’s in here?”
Through your faint gritted teeth but still sounding sincere.

“My holiday journal” you read with dismayutter excitement
As you try to think what you have planned the next day.

This is the challenge.Β  This is the measure.
To prove that your weekends are awesome.
No pressure.

Where the fudge you will take me is anyone’s guess,
But you’ll pick up the gauntlet with fierce-mum prowess.

You’ll embark on a quest to become Supermum,
And you’ll capture a weekend stuffed jam-packed with fun!

I might look all cuddly and fluffy and shy,
But observe that small mischievous glint in my eye:

As your Star Of The Week has a sister you see,
A sibling whom too wants a teddy like me!

She’ll try not to notice and seem not to care,
But develop and brand new compulsion to SHARE!

If HEEE gets a teddy then she wants one too!
I’ll be more in demand than a plate that is blue!

But you’ll drag me about from one joy to the next,
And convince your small boy I’M the toy he likes best.

Image shows Dudley The Dog on the floor on his side.
Me. The toy he likes best. Obvs.

I’ll pose and you’ll snap me wherever I’m placed,
“The Adventures of Dudley” Will thus be embraced.

No nursery parent shall doubt or refute!
(Though in truth I’ll spend most of my time in the boot.)

Then you’ll write up my weekend with humour and glee,
As you scroll through a squillion pictures of ME!

You’ll debate with your hubby and try not to shout,
As you work out who’s printing the sodding things out.

The book shall be finished.
The weekend is done.
You have played Superhost
And goddammit you’ve WON!

You’ll regale that I’m still in one piece and I’m fine,
And kick back with a well deserved chilled glass of wine juice.

The Boy on the other-hand won’t be too fussed.
And will hand me back in seeming rather nonplussed.

He’ll forget that I’ve ever been over to stay.

But he’ll know he’s had quite a nice time anyway.

89 thoughts on “The Adventures of Dudley the Dog.

  1. Well done, Dudley! I’ve heard a lot of stories about having to take care of the nursery mascot and they fill me with dread, since the most exciting thing we normally do is go to the local library or Morrisons. #DreamTeam

  2. At my eldest’s preschool she got to bring Dudley home for a weekend. It put a little pressure on me to do something so I could take photos to send back to them. Haha. πŸ™‚


  3. Haha! Love that Mstr Tot wasn’t bothered by him! Is it weird that I kind of feel like we’re missing out on the nursery bear by Baby Lighty going to a childminder?! #DreamTeam

    1. I was secretly so relieved it was The Boy’s room’s mascot as his big sister’s room has a mascot that would give me nightmares! Kind of like Chucky. I’d possibly have had to involve the washing machine too – If only just to keep it trapped somewhere for a while haha. x

  4. I love the parental
    Competition to give the class toy the best weekend it always makes me laugh! Great poem Hun as always you captured this situation perfectly. Thank you for hosting #DreamTeam

  5. Very funny. Luckily the schools in SA has not cottoned no to this idea (yet). The toy will go back with photos of wine and beer and views of the bed and the TV. ? #dreamteam

  6. Well done Dudley you little star. I’m sure that many homes would welcome you especially as a return visitor. I’m sure that yourvidit will not be forgotten #dreamteam

  7. Ha ha, I bloody hate getting the nursery toy! Thankfully, my youngest has just left nursery, so I hope that’s the end of it now… #DreamTeam

  8. This is one thing I am not looking forward to. Knowing our luck we would get it on a weekend when we have nothing planned. Or the weather would be horrendous and we would be stuck indoors. #dreamteam

    1. The timing is never great is it? Ours came a few days before I had to go for a planned operation ?. Kind of the last thing I’d got planned along with the endless housework and ironing that needed to get done haha. Always time for a quick go on the swings though πŸ˜‰ x

  9. HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I bloody LOVED this!!! I have been through the scourge of not one but TWO school bears to date – we had to change their sodding clothes each day and everything (more than I do for my own children oftentimes)! It was hell! And oh the printing out – yes yes yes, plenty of shouting at husband was done and plenty of wine was consumed! I was laughing all the way through this – and the bit about the boot – I actually posted a FB status update the weekend we had one of the bears asking fellow primary school mums if it would be acceptable to say he spent the weekend in the boot of my car!
    Who ever decided these would be a good idea?! #DreamTeam

    1. The boot of the car is the only safe place for him to stay and where I’m fairly confident that I won’t forget to return him, being as I have yet to forget my car for the nursery drop off and all that! ? Anyway it’s comfy in there are filled with familiar things… like 200 bits of other people’s recycle bins – aka “junk modelling treasures”. They tend to chill out in the boot for a bit too before recycling their way back into the recycle bin. ??? Thanks Jemma! xx

    1. I think the look on my face when we were presented with him (5 days before I was going into hospital might I add) was priceless. The responsibility was just a bit more than I fancied to be honest. He made it through in one peace though and it was quite good fun in the end. ? x

  10. Such pressure we heap on ourselves. Wish everyone would be normal and just do the usual things. I had mine when it was one of my grandparents funerals! Not exactly a glitzy weekend!
    Love the poem especially the deletions ? #dreamteam

    1. You’re so right. The unspoken pressure to be perfect is so silly isn’t it? “WE NEED TO GET AN ELEPHANT IMMEDIATELY SO THAT DUDLEY CAN RIDE IT AND HAVE HIS PICTURE TAKEN!!” …It’s exhausting. ? Thanks lovely! ? x

  11. Haha oh yes we’ve a similar toy at my daughter’s school. And why do they always “win” it when you’ve actually got the dullest weekend ever planned??! Haha #dreamteam

  12. Great post and made me think of the one and only time we had a class pet and the pressure I was under to out do the other mum with filling in the scrap book and tell of the adventures we had!:)

  13. Hopefully Dudley had a good time πŸ™‚ The Tubblet’s class had a similar thing where the class toy got to spend a week with you. Flicking through the journal that came with him, the rest of the class had gone all out. He’d been to Disneyland Paris, Museums, Zoos etc. All detailed in the neatest, bestest handwriting with oddles of photos. Our family weekend of supermarket, coffee shop and church must have been either a total rest or a a bit of a let down!

  14. Yes we have lived through many of these little home visitors from Kindergarten to the first couple of years of primary school, home they came, pics were taken, stories written. I must say though I love his name, think I might name my next dog Dudley! #draemteam

  15. Ahhh Dawn! LOVE this! Isn’t Dudley fab πŸ˜‰ Your nursery sounds brilliant. We never got the weekend test, I mean star person who get the toy for the weekend. I bet you were super proud, even if it did mean ramping up the adventures. #DreamTeam xx

  16. Oh Dudders, what a wild adventure! Being the mother of a not-yet-at-nursery-or-school-or-anywhere child, I am so glad I don’t have to deal with this yet… I can barely take a half-decent picture, let alone do something interesting to show for his weekend. I’d better start making my life more exciting purely for when this lunacy inevitably befalls me! #dreamteam

    1. I’m sure that there’s a Dudley out there already getting very excited for his visit in time to come hehe. It was the whole printing out of the pictures thing that perplexed me the most. I don’t think I’ve done that since around 2003? ? x

  17. Ha ha perfect!!!!
    Don’t get me I know they’re a pain but I kinda miss the stupid stuffed toy coming home ….. that’s parenting teens and developing rose tinted glasses for you!! #DreamTeam

  18. Haha I’m dreading when we have to look after the nursery bear….a friend of mine told me she lost the bear over the weekend, which is SO something I would do. Genius poem lovely and thank you for being such a lovely #dreamteam host xxx

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