family · Motherhood · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

For The Teachers, As Miss Tot Graduates Reception Class.

For carpet time, for show and tell, for glitter, paint and glue. For Biff and Chip and Kipper, not forgetting Floppy too. For number bonds and phonics and for counting up in fives, For funky camels, disco stars and Christmassy hand-jives. For building tiny characters and cheering on their wins. For making cardboard spaceships with… Continue reading For The Teachers, As Miss Tot Graduates Reception Class.

Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Battle Of The Broccoli (By a 3 year old.)

My mum has a brand new obsession of late. With piling some green nonsense onto my plate. She must be confused or not right in the head? As it’s none of the three food-groups: cheese, jam or bread? She’s attempted the usual tactics of course, Like blending the stuff up and calling it “sauce”. But… Continue reading The Battle Of The Broccoli (By a 3 year old.)

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Stopping By The House On A Mummy’s Evening. (A Parody.)

One of the first ‘grown up’ poems I ever read as a child was Stopping By The Woods On A Snowy By Robert Frost.  I was 9 years old and our teacher had set us all the challenge of learning it off by heart to recite in front of the class.  It must have had… Continue reading Stopping By The House On A Mummy’s Evening. (A Parody.)

family · Motherhood · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

‘I’m Right’ Mummy, ‘My Way’ Mummy. A Parody.

A parenting parody based on Julia Donaldson’s brilliant children’s book Day Monkey Night Monkey. The light shone bright at the playgroup, ‘I’m Right’ Mummy sat sipping tea. She tutted and growled as ‘My Way’ Mummy scowled, And thought ‘She should do it like me!’ My Way Mummy tried not to notice, That I’m Right Mummy… Continue reading ‘I’m Right’ Mummy, ‘My Way’ Mummy. A Parody.

family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Halloween – It Ain’t Like It Used To Be!

As October cusps into November, We embrace quite a sinister theme, And the world becomes peppered with pumpkins, For this day that we call Halloween. Not exactly a new fascination, It’s been kind of a regular gig. But I find myself sat here reflecting… “Just when did it get quite so BIG!?” Back in my… Continue reading Halloween – It Ain’t Like It Used To Be!

family · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

Ode to Judgy McJudgepants Ms Judgy McJudgepants (Cat’s Bumface for short ) A self righteous person and critical sort. Will remark on the things that you do through the day. Whilst not giving a toot if it’s not kind to say. She will cast her aspersions, dismiss and abuse, Without walking an inch in another… Continue reading Ode to Judgy McJudgepants

Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

The Twelve Days of “Doing the After-School Run…”

On the first after-school run my offspring gave to me… A painting of “Mummy and Me.” On the second after-school run my offspring gave to me… One screwed up jacket …and a painting of “Mummy and Me.” On the third after-school run my offspring gave to me… One slung off school bag, One screwed up… Continue reading The Twelve Days of “Doing the After-School Run…”