T’was the month before Christmas and chocolate was sought,
Certain calendars needed which had to be bought.
So a shop* was thus entered…
(*I’ll make up a fake – and we’ll just call it “Worntons” for arguments sake).
So we all galloped in, both the tots and pushchair,
Each merrily skittling fudge everywhere.
The boy, from his chariot summoned great strength,
As he strained to destroy all the things at arms length.
I picked up two calendars. Simple. Job done.
And I smirked with smug glee as the tots each chose one.
But then panic set in – they were on 3 for 2?
So I glanced round the shelves not quite sure what to do?
I counted my offspring. Just two. And not three.
Should I pop out one more? (Seemed quite hard-core to me?)
So I frantically searched for alternative loot,
Wildly grabbing at Snowdogs and marzipan fruit.
But each piece of confection, whilst looking quite nice,
Fell short as quite frankly was not the right price.
As we all know to win at the 3 for 2 game,
The three things you’re buying MUST ALL COST THE SAME!
So I marched round in circles with pushchair and tot,
Seeking ultimate value whilst losing the plot.
We had knocked over several chocolate box piles,
When a lady approached with a plateful of “Smiles”.
The Boy grabbed a choc which in seconds was gone.
While the Girl took around half an hour to chose one.
As her hand hovered over the plate with intent,
With the nice lady striving to meet where it went.
But I sensed she was starting to lose her good will,
So I grabbed the first box and we dashed to the till.
The lady (relieved that our shopping was done),
Said she’d ice on their names which I thought sounded fun!
So I spelled out with pleasure and searched for my purse,
Leaving little Miss Tot free to give it her worst!
I glanced up to search, she was stood at my right,
But in less than 4 seconds had slipped out of sight!
I quickly spun round – all three sixty degrees,
And there she was, just on my left if you please!
…With warm melted chocolate all over her cheek…
…I gaped like a fish, quite unable to speak!
The chocolate fountain was right at her side,
As she licked at her chocolaty hand with such pride.
I considered my options. Not sure what to do.
Then I guiltily shuffled my tot out of view.
Whilst mumbling something both quiet and mean,
And wondering whether her stunt had been seen.
I glanced at the lady, not sure what to say,
But her static expression gave nothing away?
So I grabbed for a wipe and I cleaned Miss Tot’s face,
As we all shuffled out of the shop in disgrace!
With The Girl sadly wailing “I tried to be good!”
Whilst we bolted away just as fast as we could.
And so all through December with each daily binge,
I shall think of that fountain and inwardly cringe.
I’ll apologise now on behalf of my tot,
To all those who indulged in a chocolaty shot.
I should have confessed and I feel pretty mean,
(And I’m hoping to God that her hands were quite clean?)
But in future dear Worntons, I vow to stay clear
And I’ll order our goodies online for next year!