Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

A Day In The Life of a School Uniform.

The morning starts like any other.
Sleeping school-girl, plus small brother.

Uniform is freshly pressed.
Ready for her to get dressed.

Everything is still and calm,
Until Skirt hears the school alarm.

She pokes the others on their clip,
And wriggles from the hanger’s grip.

From clinging to the bedroom door,
She drops – and scrunches on the floor.

Immensely proud now thus released.
Her work is done. She’s nicely creased!

Left Sock sees this, quite impressed,
And takes his chance before she’s dressed…

He shoves his drawer out from inside,
…And sneakily runs off to hide!

He picks a perfect hiding spot,
And nervously awaits Miss Tot!

In she bounds in such a flurry.
Seeming to be in a hurry?

Obviously running late;
(With all the things upon her plate!)

Mum approaches at the double.
Skirt holds breath, expecting trouble!

Hanger’s dragged down from the door,
Skirt is snatched up from the floor.

Mother groans “Oh goodness me!“*
And grabs the iron frantically.

Left Sock watches with a grin,
As now they have to search for him!

What the bumfluff?”* Mummy cries!
And finds Left Sock with miffed surprise.

Kindly brush your teeth.” Says Mum.
(Because the school run’s so much fun.)

Jumper sneaks up on the shelf,
And rubs the toothpaste on himself.

What the flegnog?” Mummy asks.
(Whilst adding “Babywipe!” to tasks.)

Shoes go on.Β  We’re looking cool,
And finally they’re off to school!

(Right Sock still has much to learn,
So patiently awaits his turn…)

Uniform: thrilled to explore,
Can’t wait to reach the classroom door.

Once inside the mission’s on.
Blink.Β  And now Right Shoe is gone!

Finds himself lace-deep in mud!
Left Shoe meanwhile has been good.

He prides himself on staying clean,
And somehow keeps himself pristine?

Every lunch and during breaks,
Is when the sneaky Coat escapes.

Often found behind a bin?
With twigs and pine cones stuffed within.

Lunch approaches with a bell
Now Shirt wants some fun as well!

Not missed out by any means;
She rolls herself within the beans.

After lunch there follows paint,
Jumper’s in there! No restraint!

Finally PE class comes.
Time to bring the big cloth guns!

Garments skip off merrily,
To seek and climb the nearest tree!

To rummage in the nearest slime,
And wallow like a pig in grime!

Then any clean, remaining kit,
Puts one last shift in… down the pit.

At 3 o’clock it’s time for home.
Mum smiles and waves, but does not moan.*

“How lovely!” She notes (with a cough).
And swiftly all school clothes are off.

Sorted into dark and light,
All ready to be washed that night.

They’re joined by Someone Else’s Pants (?!?)
A stowaway. There just for bants?

A full day’s work has been and gone.
Each played their part;

Except for one…

Right Sock – but he won’t stand for this.
And so decides to take the pineapples*

He shuffles to the white-wash pile
And snuggles in to snooze a while.

Right Sock, the last to have his day,
Thus turns the entire white wash grey!

Yes.Β  He that is not colour-fast.
Laughs loudest, as he laughs the last!


*or something similar.

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87 thoughts on “A Day In The Life of a School Uniform.

  1. That is brilliant and the story of my life. You properly made me laugh out loud! One of my sons goes to school everyday looking like most children do when they come out. I don’t understand how it happens – I get him all ready and then I turn around and his trousers are back to front, shirt is untucked and his tie is loose and typically over his shoulder. Of course his jumper too must have a toothpaste encounter everyday. No wonder we are all stressed to hell by the time we drop them at school πŸ˜‰

    1. The battle is real! I have been tempted to take the clean items from the laundry basket and instead of ironing them just throw them on the floor and stamp on them a bit? Might just save Miss Tot the effort so that she can concentrate on her school work instead? πŸ˜‚ Thank you Kirsty. So pleased you can relate and that it shared a giggle xx

  2. I’m grateful we’re still just in normal clothes – that’s hard enough, especially as my little one comes home from nursery looking like a street urchin on a daily basis (thanks to the darn mud kitchen). This joy is all to come next year! #dreamteam

    1. Why only just one? I have drawers full of odd socks. Surely that must mean that my house is also filled with doo socks somewhere as I’m sure my kids don’t come home wearing just one? It’s mindblowing! πŸ˜‚ Thanks so much lovely x

  3. *Laughs head off. Is your uniform related to Little Buttons? Hehe… all the yes, yes, yeses to this Dawn. It’s always cardigan and coat for us, every single day. And if they are not getting filthy, their buttons are unraveling themselves and making a leap to escape. Thanks for being the bestest #DreamTeam host xx

  4. Haven’t had to deal with the school uniform yet, but definitely something to look forward to?? I’m not so sure, but then I guess, it’s one thing less to think about in the morning? Or am I wrong again? #DreamTeam

    1. It is really handy not to have to think about what to wear. It’s just the state that they seem to end up in each day? They always start out so pristine and within about 20 minutes they look like they’ve been dropped on by a parachute. πŸ˜‚ x

  5. Hahaha yes, to all of this! I have three school uniforms to wash and iron each day, that’s 15 a week! I genuinely have no clue what they do to it each day to come home in such a state! In September I’ll have 20! Aghhh! #dreamteam

  6. Haha! “What the bumfluff” made me lol!
    Excellently written and very funny – I don’t envy you and your school uniform wrangling!
    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge πŸ™‚

  7. I laughed so hard! Then I read it to Hubster and he laughed. Then we both sighed with relief that we don’t have to do the school run because we know we’re not built to handle that. #DreamTeam

  8. This has definitely just made my Sunday morning better! Now I’m definitley looking forward to school runs (cough, cough) you are a genius! #DreamTeam

  9. Ah we have all of this yet to come!! The thing I mostly like about this post, I must admit, are your creative curses, ha!! Always makes me smile!! #DreamTeam

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