Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

I’d Love To Make Friends Like A Toddler…

I’d love to make friends like a toddler.
I’m not short of a mum friend or two,
But I’m starting to feel quite inspired
By my tots and the way that they do…

So, I’d rock up to playgroup as normal.
Drop my jacket and puff out my chest.
Scan the church-hall savanna before me,
And zone in on the mum I like best!

I’ll be confident in my decision.
Which I’ll make indiscriminately.
But I’ll know as she’ll have an umbrella,
And the same colour shoes on as me!

So I’ll amble on over to meet her.
Get right up in her personal space.
And just silently stare at her elbow,
With my nose half an inch from her face.

She’ll perhaps be enjoying a cuppa?
Or a nice bit of toast which is fine.
We’ll do sharing.
Because we’re best friends now.
So I’ll snatch it declaring: “It’s MINE!”

Now she maybe won’t like that I’ve pinched it?
Start shouting and causing a scene?
So I’ll drop it and wail like a banshee.
Then I’ll bite her for being so mean.

Or I’ll gallop off changing direction,
With my sketchers revolving at pace,
And keep stopping to check that she’s watching.
Give her chance to catch up and give chase.

If that doesn’t work I’ll try shouting.
Just her name.
At the top of my voice.
Then present her a sucked Jammie Dodger.
Jam or cream side. I’ll give her the choice.

We’ll be best friends forever and always.
And I’ll show her each one of my teeth.
We could even rip off my new plaster?
And explore my big ‘owchie’ beneath?

We’ll spend seven whole minutes together.
We’ll do jumping and sit holding hands.
I shall show her my pants that are purple.
And we’ll both do our bestest handstands.

The session will fly by so quickly,
And it soon will be tidy up time.
So I’ll go tell her mum that I love her,
And invite her to come sleep at mine.

Then I’ll merrily bound home excited,
For my new friend that I like the most!

And just wait for the restraining order,
To be promptly delivered by post. πŸ˜‰

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92 thoughts on “I’d Love To Make Friends Like A Toddler…

    1. Hahaha I don’t know what you mean? I only barged into your lodge and stole your cake while my offspring rolled around on your carpet? I mean I didn’t stare at your elbow or anything? ? …It really would though wouldn’t it? Thank you lovely xxx

  1. Haha, yes! Just walk up to people and smile really big and now they are putty in your hands. Too much drool and slobber and sticky hands though. πŸ™‚ #dreamteam

  2. Hahaha! Oh if only right? Evie really loves showing off the teeth she has lost recently now they’re falling out! I think shouting I’m six, how old are you? Is a defining moment of friendship too! #dreamteam

  3. Genius, pure genius. I love the observations and bringing the toddler world to ours, we would be restrained for sure, though we could learn a thing or two. You’re so talented lady. #DreamTeam

  4. Haha love this, and it’s so true. If only I had the confidence that my little girl does when we are in the park or preschool. x #dreamteam

  5. Haha this made me spit out my tea! Fab post as always. I still remember just going up to people and asking ‘will you be my friend?’ Maybe I should start trying this again! #DreamTeam

  6. Brilliant poem, if only it was that easy as a grown up. Although I do like the idea of just throwing my coat on the ground and just going for it #DreamTeam

  7. This really resonated with me! We’ve spent the whole day at a wedding and I barely saw Amelia! She was off playing with 3 girls she’d never met before, and then they all banded together to put on a show! And there I’ve been stressing about how awkward I feel trying to make new friends in our new area! #dreamteam

    1. There is definitely something to be said for the way that they do it. It’s lovely to watch them – totally innocent and unencumbered by social rules or fear of rejection. If only we could eh? πŸ˜‰ Hope you enjoyed the wedding! x

  8. Love this! Yesterday walking in London, Ben stopped mid-stroll to say hello to a little girl. To him clearly this was the best thing ever and then continued to strut off! So adorable watching them interact with each other! #dreamteam

  9. Hahaha you’ve done it again – so hilariously accurate! I do think it’s sad that we lose this ability to make friends so easily, and also that we lose the ability to brush over mistakes by the other person too. I think we could learn a lot from toddlers… but maybe not the “showing pants” bit!

    Also, congratulations because someone (understandably!) loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge πŸ™‚ #blogcrush

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