I’d love to make friends like a toddler.
I’m not short of a mum friend or two,
But I’m starting to feel quite inspired
By my tots and the way that they do…
So, I’d rock up to playgroup as normal.
Drop my jacket and puff out my chest.
Scan the church-hall savanna before me,
And zone in on the mum I like best!
I’ll be confident in my decision.
Which I’ll make indiscriminately.
But I’ll know as she’ll have an umbrella,
And the same colour shoes on as me!
So I’ll amble on over to meet her.
Get right up in her personal space.
And just silently stare at her elbow,
With my nose half an inch from her face.
She’ll perhaps be enjoying a cuppa?
Or a nice bit of toast which is fine.
We’ll do sharing.
Because we’re best friends now.
So I’ll snatch it declaring: “It’s MINE!”
Now she maybe won’t like that I’ve pinched it?
Start shouting and causing a scene?
So I’ll drop it and wail like a banshee.
Then I’ll bite her for being so mean.
Or I’ll gallop off changing direction,
With my sketchers revolving at pace,
And keep stopping to check that she’s watching.
Give her chance to catch up and give chase.
If that doesn’t work I’ll try shouting.
Just her name.
At the top of my voice.
Then present her a sucked Jammie Dodger.
Jam or cream side. I’ll give her the choice.
We’ll be best friends forever and always.
And I’ll show her each one of my teeth.
We could even rip off my new plaster?
And explore my big ‘owchie’ beneath?
We’ll spend seven whole minutes together.
We’ll do jumping and sit holding hands.
I shall show her my pants that are purple.
And we’ll both do our bestest handstands.
The session will fly by so quickly,
And it soon will be tidy up time.
So I’ll go tell her mum that I love her,
And invite her to come sleep at mine.
Then I’ll merrily bound home excited,
For my new friend that I like the most!
And just wait for the restraining order,
To be promptly delivered by post. 😉