Dear daughter…. I’m sorry to tell you this way,
But a hideous crime was committed today.
You discovered yourself as you went in the bin.
That a piece of your artwork had somehow got in??
Half in shock, and perplexed as to how it got there!
I was stuck without words, only able to stare!?
I too was distraught and completely bereft,
As we salvaged the dry bits of art that were left.
And your eyes reached to mine for a reason or cause?
I had nothing to offer except ‘awkward pause’.
Just who? I did question, would do such a thing?
To such classical pieces of pasta and string?
A heinous and hideous parenting crime?
The scoundrel found guilty should have to do time!
But I’ve reasoned there’s only one thing it could be!
As I know with conviction that it WAS NOT ME!
It must be “That Monster” I say with a grin.
That mischievous beastie that lives in the bin!
He’s scruffy and grumpy and green like The Grinch,
And he spends his time looking for treasures to pinch!
That thing from your pocket that once was a snail.
Those pine cones you found on The Gruffalo Trail.
Those damp bits of twig and your series of rocks,
That beloved bunny we made out of socks.
He lurks and he sneaks in the dark of the night
And he snaffles the things that are shiny and bright!
Your nursery doodles – exquisitely fine,
Your magnificent series entitled “The Line”.
Each moss covered pebble, old button and leaf,
He pilfers them all, the despicable thief!
And he scampers back home with a mischievous grin,
And he buries them deep in his den in the bin!
That half eaten lolly looked ever so nice,
And you loved it so much that you sneezed on it twice!
Those 48 bottle tops covered with glue..
He knew they were special so snaffled them too!
What a terrible monster he truly must be.
I should feel so ashamed if I thought it was me!
It’s so rude that your loot has been so disregarded,
And all of your treasures so cruelly discarded!
I would stop it from happening. Obviously.
But my hands are quite tied as of course – it’s not me!
To destroy all your treasures?
No way! I would never!
I would love them and stroke them and keep them forever!
It is tragic and sad but that’s just where they go.
And it still wasn’t mummy.
Just so that you know.
…*whistles and slinks off sideways*
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