I actually did all my house work today!!
“So bloody what?” You’re entitled to say.
The fact of the matter though, I’ll have you know,
is I had both my toddler and boddler in tow.
I’d put off the task for as long as I could. (Perhaps a bit longer than maybe I should?)
I flicked on CBeebies and tiptoed away,
And hoped that “The Clangers” might get them to stay.
I opened the dishwasher door for the pots,
when suddenly galloping in came my tots.
In climbs the tiny one splashing with joy,
sat in the drawer of his dishwasher “toy”.
Which makes it quite tricky to get the pots done,
when you have to keep stopping to drag out your son!?
His sister, was thrilled and unnervingly keen,
insistent on helping her mummy “do clean.”
I tried to disguise any signs of despair,
As they both scurried off squirting Pledge in the air.
I tackled the floors as I moved room to room,
While they both, in a frenzy, grabbed onto the broom.
(An epic adventure it truly must be?
To forage for raisins beneath the settee?)
I cleaned one french door while Miss Tot and her brother,
obligingly snotted and smeared up the other.
I entered the shower, to clean. (As you do).
Delighted to help, both the tots climbed in too!
I gave my best efforts to cleaning the tray.
(Not easy with two tiny bums in the way!)
Then changed them both back into clothes that were dry.
And wiped the shampoo out of Mstr Tot’s eye.
My quest now completed I survey my land,
but notice it’s not quite as clean as I’d planned?
A mountain of tat is still strewn ‘cross the floor.
Already new snot marks are there on the door.
So why have I bothered to tackle this chore?
When everything still looks the same as before?
From now on this house shall be “Housework exempt.”
My sparse store of calories (*coughs) can be far better spent!
This futile attempt was a huge waste of time.
So I’ve figured it out and erected a sign,
“All ye who enter do so of free will,
But don’t be surprised if this house makes you ill.
Two forces of nature are dwelt here within,
Their natural habitat that of a bin.
Though you may have to wade through a deluge of toys.
Your presence is welcome and brings us great joys.
Although if you’re a guest that likes things to be clean?
I suggest you return once they’ve both turned 18.”
……. Who else wants one? :0)
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