Humour · Parenting · Rhyme

A Rather Rude Awakening…

The night was dark and silent as the small hand ticked past four.
The house was filled with nothing but the hubby’s peaceful snore.

When piercing through the darkness came a terrifying shriek,
I startled to my senses far too zombified speak.

Unconsciously shot upright as my feet swung to the floor,
And padded automatically towards the bedroom door.

Not quite yet fit to function at this frightful side of dawn,
I creaked on with my eyes half shut and stifling a yawn.

I shuffled down the hallway in a state of half undress.
The fearful sound repeated now with urgency and stress,

My little ‘twoodler’ needed me, his call reached through the gloom.
My pulse began to quicken as I burst into his room!

And as I flicked his light on his distress became quite clear,
At last his urgent shouting was deciphered by my ear…

His frantic call for help was just one word in fact:


He offered me his finger.
And a gift.

I should have been more grateful as he’d picked it just for me.
A treasure from his feat of nasal archaeology.

But all that I could do was stand and blink and shake my head.
I turned the light off silently and sloped back off to bed.

And so, a little message to my over-generous tot:
We do not share at 4am.
… and certainly not snot.

I don’t mean to be hurtful and it really was so kind.
But next time if you’d keep it please I really wouldn’t mind.

Love Mum.


Just catching up on his sleep the next day. Nocturnal foraging for nose nuggets can really take it out of you. Apparently.

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129 thoughts on “A Rather Rude Awakening…

  1. I laughed so hard, he’s tuckered out from all the gold picking he did the night before! And can I just say that I love the new banner at the top of your page!!!! #DreamTeam

  2. Sorry but this is hilarious, but I also feel your pain, the little scamp! This reminds me of my 4yo who occasionally calls for me in the night… to be tucked in!!

    Soldiering on! xx

    1. Oh the joy!? I’m determined to get my own back once mine are grumpy teenagers. This particular revenge story should be a classic when I shout him a 4am with a special gift… ?? Thank you. Wishing you a night filled with sleeps xx

  3. That had me in absolute stitches (again) what a lucky mummy you are, such a personal and special gift…honestly, I don’t know what else to say, other than bless you #DreamTeam x

  4. Ahaha this made me laugh out loud!! I know I always say it but you are a genius. I just don’t think people warn you about how gross kids are do they?! Love that picture too! #DreamTeam

  5. Hahaha! I HATE snot. It makes me gag really bad for some reason. Even my own kids snot. So I’m laughing and gagging all at the same time. I love your writing! I shared it in my ESL class I help teach! #DreamTeam

  6. Ahh lucky Mummy!! I had a 2am shreak from Flump’s room this morning ? Nothing quite like it to get you in your feet eh? It’s when they nod back off to sleep and you’re left staring at the ceiling only to fall asleep 20mins before the alarm goes off!! ?

    1. Haha snorty giggles are the best type! Thank you so much for your lovely comment. Poems aren’t for everyone are they – but I find them easier than writing freestyle. The lack of structure terrifies me and I end up going terribly off piste haha. Thanks again xx

    1. Oh I need to read the poo poem. I wrote one about the same thing a few months ago. We poets find something inspiring in the stuff don’t we haha. Please let me have the link once it’s published! I’ll be over for a read. πŸ™‚ Thanks hon x

  7. What makes them start picking their little noses? My little boy discovered his on a trip to Ikea! We couldn’t understand why an elderly couple were stood near us, looking at him and laughing as he sat in his pushchair. My husband said what’s he doing, so I went round the front to see and there he was a finger up each nostril!!!
    Thanks for the laughs!

  8. Ha! Hilarious. The mom in me could only wonder what horrid surprise he had for you, sadly nose nuggets were tamer than I thought, but that is just good news for you! #DreamTeam

  9. hilarious, I’m literally laughing out loud here. I have to say though, I have a real bad aversion to nose contents, I mean seriously they make me gag. I’m so bad that if you have something up there I won’t hesitate to show you my disgust and tell you to get rid of it. I think I’d rather wake up to a really pooey nappy than a bogie.

  10. Who needs chocolate, flowers and wine when you can have bogeys instead? You’re one lucky lady! I discovered my daughter had been storing her bogeys on the wall next to her bed. I almost disowned her! #blogcrush

  11. Hello! Only me popping over from #DreamTeam! I was awoken six times last night! Fortunately not for snot. Only for a cuddle. Wishing you a settled night tonight! xxx

  12. Hahaha I love this so much! Laughed the whole way through . Poor you being woken up just to be given some snot though! Love the photo at the end, nose picking really is very hard work. Thanks for linking up to #BlogCrush xx

  13. Oh no! Yuk, yuk, yuk! I can cope with sick and poo and mashed up food, but I just can’t stand bogeys! Bleugh!

    Ahd well, it’s the thought that counts, I guess! Haha #blogcrush

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