family · Humour · Parenting · Poem · Rhyme

A School Run On Ice.

Image shows a young girl on a sledge against a sparkling snowy background.

If you ask any parent their idea of fun,
It would most likely NOT be an icy school run.

I peered through the window at seven this morning,
The Arctic had landed. Without prior warning.

The car was a snowball.
The road looked like glass.
The path had transformed to a treacherous pass.

Not a soft fluffy landscape of blankety flakes,
But a sheet of disaster, fit only for skates.

I concluded the car was a definite NO.
While I cursed sodding Elsa for “Letting It Go!

So we got ourselves ready in plenty of time.
(We all know that’s a lie for the sake of this rhyme!)

And cocooned in our boots, each with hats on our head,
We bravely embarked on the journey ahead.

Now walking with my two is awkward at best,
So throwing in ice is the ultimate test.

Three steps in it’s clear this logistical farce
Can only result in this mum on her arse!

The Boy’s tiny legs are all over the place
Each step brings the ground rather close to his face!

 

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The Girl spots her chance to command his respect,
With some new “accidental” skid-stunts to perfect.

So with Bambi in one hand and “Skidz” in the other
I maintain a firm grip on The Girl and her brother.

But my thought-out approach doesn’t turn out as planned,
As the small one starts shrieking “NO DON’T HOLD MY HAND!”

And snatching his paw free, my now sobbing tot,
Won’t hold, but can’t move, so remains on the spot.

The big one breaks loose and skids off way ahead,
I turn to the small one to coax him instead.

Each singularย footstep is painfully slow,
Like herding two frogs through a mountain of snow,

With every step forward a whinge and a skid,
As I try to make progress, each arm full of kid.

But somehow we make it – despite all my fears!
With no broken ankles and minimal tears.

With one now at school the odds shift in my favour,
Just one can be managed – whatever behaviour!

And so we head home with a shove and a nudge,
Back to the icy path, back through the sludge.

Back we both trudge at a centipede’s pace,
The Boy now has snotcicles hung from his face.

“My hands are too cold” he observes with a shriek,
I reach out to hold them, too frosty to speak.

More tears and more tantrums, refusing to shift,
Just reaching his arms up demanding a lift.

I intently ignore all his loud pleading sound,
(It’s a bloody long way from my arms to the ground!

And if clumsy-arse here were to icily slip
There’d be two of us needing an A&E trip!)

Our journey continues, him sobbing / me sorry,
That no, he can’t actually have an “ice wowwy”!?

(Yep – you read that right. He wanted an ice lolly. You couldn’t make this sh** up!)

But after forever we reached our front door,
With new found respect for a carpeted floor.

Freed from our wellies we did a high five,
Me somewhat relieved that we’d made it alive.

No sooner had each of us started to thaw,
Than it’s time to go pick up the big one once more!

But this time I’ve sussed it, no boots for this mum!
Just throw me a tray – I’ll slide there on my bum!

Image shows a set of footprints across shallow snow.

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85 thoughts on “A School Run On Ice.

    1. No they used to be closed all the time when I was younger, but now they seem to just grit the school and the roads near to it. Doesn’t help us on our ice-box of an estate though. Eek! Our ice is probably very tame compared to what you guys get in the US though! x

  1. I am terrible at walking on a good, dry day. Snow and ice result in my breaking a bone. I no longer even attempt it. I just cancel everything and hide inside until it’s over. I guess the schools probably wouldn’t let you do that though. Stay safe on your walks! #DreamTeam

    1. I’m bad enough on ice at it is, but my kids appear unable to walk normally even at the best of times. It’s like trying to wrangle to small buffalo on rollerboots. Staying home and hiding sounds like a sensible plan! Thanks hon x

  2. Brilliant poem as always. Although I feel slightly bad for laughing! We’ve not had any snow here! And the ice has been pretty tame too. I don’t think I’d leave the house if we did. I’m not sure I’d survive. #dreamteam

  3. Sorry to laugh but I nearly spat my coffee out when I got to the word “snotcicles” . Brilliant and describes it perfectly. I had to do the school run on crutches as no-one else was free to take H to school (I have had a knee op). Never will you ever hear anyone on crutches mutter the words “Yeah ice”. It took ages to do a few metres. Further complicated because my son was gripping to them for his own safety and pulling me in all directions. I deserved a medal (alcoholic drink if it hadn’t been prior to 9am) for getting us both there in one piece. An experience I never want to repeat. #DreamTeam

    1. I usually let them take scooters, which is utter carnage as they too also immediately separate with one 3 miles ahead and one 3 weeks behind admiring a pebble. ๐Ÿ™ˆ I thought walking would be easier? Pahahaha. Thank you Claire. I feel your pain! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  4. This has really cheered me up today! Although you do have my utmost sympathies ๐Ÿ˜‚ but yeah I havenโ€™t reached the stage of the school runs yet but am certainly not looking forward to it especially in winter, dropping my little one at my Mums before work is hard enough! #DreamTeam

    Soffy // themumaffairs.blogspot.com

  5. We didn’t get any snow this time ๐Ÿ™‚ I hate the stuff and am so grateful to the Canadian friend who bought me over some ice walkers one year. They’ve got metal grips on the sole and you strap them on your shoes. They’ve saved my arse a few times!

  6. We’ve had barely any snow but it’s been SO dangerous walking to school just lately. Thankfully we haven’t had an injury yet (touch wood) but I absolutely hate it! #DreamTeam

  7. Brilliant rhyme, can relate to the not holding hands but not walking either even when there’s no ice on the ground! My daughter will still sit in her pushchair so I use that for balance if it’s icy, ha! #DreamTeam

  8. So this is what I have to look forward to next year! You’ve done very well considering you have 2!! Your little one is adorable, I definitely second that ice wowwwy, it has to make things better, right? #DreamTeam

  9. I loved this!! They never grit the road up to my sonโ€™s pre school and itโ€™s on a hill so walking there is so horrible when itโ€™s icy. Thatโ€™s if Iโ€™ve managed to make it down the icy steps outside our house. #dreamteam

  10. I foolishly took the car for the nursery run and ended up driving up a hill covered in black ice. Not funโ€ฆ And now its snowing again, just as weโ€™d thawed out from last week! #dreamteam

  11. I’ve read this when we’ve woken up to a (albeit thin) layer of snow on the road and I was glad it’s hubby’s job to do the nursery run! I do get jealous of all the snow you get up there but I bet the reality is not fun at all! #dreamteam

  12. Wow! You make me so much more grateful my kids ride a school bus, especially in the Winter when I hate going out and won’t unless I absolutely have to. I love the part about cursing Else for “Letting it go” That had me cracking me:) #DreamTeam

  13. Hahaha I love this! We are lucky that weโ€™ve not had any snow or ice here in the south but if we did Iโ€™d definitely just take a sledge instead of walking! Glad you made it back home in one piece xx #blogcrush

  14. love snow, but am terrified at the thought of black ice. Hids do tend to skid around and laugh in it, if they fall its not far and they’re all soft and bendy, but us oldies might actually break something if we fall. My Hubby always skids about on the ice (big kid) but on turning 40 (a Looong time ago now) he walked out the door, slid and cracked two rib….

  15. I happened to read this the week of the #beastfromtheeast. So relatable Dawn, and a genius of a poem again! I did two school runs similar to yours (one kid though, phew) this week – didn’t dare drive on these skiddy roads. Besides, I couldn’t see my car, it was layered in snow!!!

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